I’ve experienced a bizarre set of emotions over the last few days. My depression had lifted quite a bit this week. Wednesday after work, I signed back up on a dating site.
I had a Thursday doctor appointment that basically meant I would go to work for three hours. I woke up Thursday morning with quite a headache, and stayed home from work. I enjoyed listening to the thunderstorm while laying in bed, even if it did bring a cold front along with it.
The storm had ended and the rain had mostly stopped when I headed out for my doctor appointment. The office allows me to bring the bike inside, so I didn’t have to deal with the lack of bike parking.
This was mostly a follow-up visit for lifelong issue that I have. I also brought up the depression again, and the fact that I’ve cut my beer consumption way down (he’s chastised me about this before).
Despite years of refusing a chemical solution to my depression, I finally agreed to try it. He wrote a prescription. It’ll take a few weeks to determine if it’s going to work out for me.
I was at the office for a couple of hours. There was a paperwork snafu, and they were busy. When I did leave, it was pouring rain, and I headed up Eastern Parkway to the pharmacy. Tim passed me going the other way (in his car). He was driving home from work. Heh. I was proud to be getting wet wearing my jeans and t-shirt.
After drinking one cup of coffee and going back to the pharmacy, I rode home. I spent the remainder of the day cleaning the house and talking to several women on the phone that had responded to me on the dating site. This was a much better response than I got last time. Was it because it’s a different site? My different approach? Because Spring is in the air?
I had a few good conversations, but the best was with Renee. She was also the one who could set aside some time for a Friday evening date. I met her Friday at 7:00pm (less than 7 hours ago) at Four Pegs. She doesn’t drink, so she had water and the famous Chicken Waffle sandwich. I had a burger, water, and a single beer. We spent the evening together, and I got to know a lot about her.
She eventually went home. That saying, “parting is such sweet sorrow”, yeah. I didn’t expect to be affected that way. I hope to see her again. At best, it’ll probably be another week. She’s smart, funny, sarcastic, and cuddly. She has a young daughter, which means I need to make some big decisions about my life if I continue down this path.
It’s now almost 2:00am. I plan to get out on the bike tomorrow, but I won’t be getting up early to do that.
We humans like to find patterns in single events. We mainly like to find patterns, as they reduce the mental workload.
That said, I am glad to see you posting positive stuff. Much of the positiveness comes from within, in my own experience dealing with depression. That’s what makes it so hard to do. It’s tough to see it being “worth the trouble” from within the battles, but in retrospect, it is indeed worth the effort.