Things Were Good…

My post on the 20th, gained me an email from a friend who wanted to make sure I was okay.  Yes.  I’m okay.  I was actually in a good mood when I wrote that, but had just come out of a bad stretch.

Things were good last week and through Saturday.  I was upbeat, productive at work, and had hope for the future.  Then Sunday happened.

I’ll back up.  Friday after work, I went to Apocalypse Brew Works for beer.  It was packed inside, but they had a campfire in the parking lot, so I sat around with a group of strangers and got drunk.  It was actually a good time.  There’s something about sitting in a circle around a fire that gets you talking to people.

I left there after having one too many.  I still hadn’t eaten dinner, so I stopped at Cumberland for a burger and one more beer.  Cumberland didn’t have a fire or a circle, so I really didn’t talk to anyone.  My ride home was a blur – an uneventful blur, but still…  I got home and went to sleep.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling dehydrated and smelling of wood smoke.  I felt much better after a shower and a pot of coffee.  Saturday’s plans were grocery shopping and housecleaning.  Oh, and I had a growler of beer I’d brought home from Apocalypse.

I drink too much beer.  I realize that.  It hurts my weight loss efforts.  It hurts my mental state.  I’ve cut down for a while, only to pick back up later.  I was determined to not over-do it on Saturday, as I had big bike plans for Sunday.

I thoroughly cleaned the drivetrain on the rSogn for Sunday’s plans.  Timothy was putting on an LBC Populaire.

I woke up early Sunday feeling good.  I cooked a good breakfast and drank plenty of coffee.

The ride was planned at 68 miles.  I wanted 100 miles for the day, so if I took the long way to the ride start location and back (in Prospect), I could do that.

I headed out in plenty of time.  I was underdressed, but I knew it would warm up.  Ten miles in, I wanted to turn around and go home, but I kept going.  It was 18 miles until I arrived in Prospect for the 10:00 AM departure.

There were some interesting bikes there.  One guy from Columbus Indiana was riding a recumbent.  Sam, from Lexington Kentucky, was riding a Velo-Orange Polyvalent.

Being a timed event, I didn’t bother with pictures.  We rolled back toward town.  Many of the riders pulled ahead of my on River Rd.  They were soon out of site.  There were still a few behind me somewhere.  After a bit, the recumbent rider passed me.

Two riders behind me caught up as we were approaching downtown.  They slowed a bit to stay with me.  We crossed the Second Street Bridge into Indiana, and the faster group had apparently made a wrong turn somewhere, and were coming back toward us.  Now I was riding with a group again.

While riding next to the recumbent rider and talking to him, I didn’t spot a pothole in time, and hit it hard.  There was no damage to my bike, but I had to stop to retrieve my pump which had fallen off.  Nobody waited for me.  I was pretty much cooked already at this point.  I had pushed a pretty good pace (for me).  I was unable to catch them.

I continued on to the first control, Quill’s Coffee in New Albany.  Most of them were still there, including Timothy.  My mind was made up.  I let him know I wasn’t continuing with the ride.  I was only 18 miles into the Populaire, 36 miles into my day.  They left while I had a cup of coffee.

I wasn’t ready to ride another 12 miles to get home.  I was that tired.  I was about a block away from New Albanian Brewing, so I rode there for a beer and food, then began a slow amble home.  It took me nearly an hour to go those 12 miles home.

I cooked a nice dinner at home.  I spent some time stretching my leg muscles, which had begun to cramp up.  I was exhausted – much more exhausted I should have been for the riding I did.  I felt kind of “cooked” mentally too.  I went to bed at a reasonable time with the intention of riding the recumbent to work and taking the long way in the morning.

This morning, I hated the world.  I hated the alarm clock, the bikes, myself, and the fact I don’t own a car.  My legs and neck were still in pain, but the mental pain was bigger.  I couldn’t call off work.  I wasn’t going to spend the money on a cab.  I took the bus to work.  Riding the bus made me feel slightly sick, which it normally doesn’t.

Getting to work didn’t improve matters.  I was grumpy.  My co-workers were annoying.  I wasn’t very pleasant to be around.

I left work at 5:00 on the dot.  I didn’t want to miss my bus.  My mood had improved a bit, but I still felt a bit ill on the bus.

I cooked another nice dinner and prepared leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch.  I did the dishes.  I played on the computer.  I feel better, but not quite right.

Maybe cutting out beer for a week (or three) will change things a bit.  Maybe just getting back in the habit of being at home, cooking, paying attention to my dogs, and playing on the computer will help.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

3 thoughts on “Things Were Good…”

  1. And in the background I hear a little red head singing…” the sun’ll come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun….” 😉

  2. I follow your blog because it seems I often suffer from similar mental struggles as you do. I abstain from alcohol for a while only to return.

    My biggest success was about 4 years ago when I got really motivated to lose weight. I have a 17 mile ride I was able to do every morning at 5:00 AM before I got ready for work.

    I had a goal of riding to my parents house, which at the time 60 miles was a really long and intimidating ride for me. The motivation to achieve that goal was greater than my desire to drink beer. I wanted to get up every Saturday and ride a 30 mile ride. I wanted to get up every other morning and my 17 mile ride. I couldn’t do either of those things after I drank.

    So I guess why I’m saying this is that maybe it would help if you had a goal. A difficult goal. This summer I have some really big goals, so that will help keep me on track again. Find your goal.. something you never thought possible, and see if working towards that helps.

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