The times I need someone the most are the same times that I would be unpleasant to be around. Today is one of those times. It’s strange to be lonely and know that any advice given to me would not only be ignored, but possibly ridiculed. I’m angry, depressed, lonely, and looking for a target. Stay away from me!
I don’t want to be alone. I need to be alone. Today, I’d be a irritant to anyone I try to talk to. So, dear readers, today, that’s you. Luckily, you have the option of walking away and I won’t even know since your on the other end of the ethernet cable – or wifi connection.
Over the last week I’ve been riding my bike, doing housework, working on bikes, reading books, browsing the web, and of course, working to try and feel useful. Today, I’ve gotten to where I don’t feel like doing those things. Sure, I rode my bike to work, did my IT stuff for eight hours, and have been cooking since getting home, but it wasn’t working to ease my mood.
I don’t feel useful – to myself or anyone else. I’m sure things will get better. I almost didn’t write this, but I felt it was one useful thing I could do today.
Is there a point to this post? I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just venting. Hopefully I’ll sleep well tonight and be prepared for tomorrow.
Walk. Just walk. More than riding I find that walking is very therapeutic. You just walk and then turn around. From your place, maybe walk up to George Rogers Clark Park and then turn around. I’ve been there. Maybe all, or most, of us have been there. Keep busy and exercise the mind, soul and body. Or piss all over this commentary and play some really loud music!!!!!
I’ve been there. Yeah … nothing really helps. But I do know that you gotta keep going, keep doing your stuff. If you fall into complacency, it only gets worse. So keep going through the motions and hopefully it’ll start to feel right again. I hope things get easier for you soon.
Most of us have been there at some stage (I have) and you get fed up of people telling you it gets easier, but it does. I shall say no more, best of luck