The times I need someone the most are the same times that I would be unpleasant to be around. Today is one of those times. It’s strange to be lonely and know that any advice given to me would not only be ignored, but possibly ridiculed. I’m angry, depressed, lonely, and looking for a target. Stay away from me!
I don’t want to be alone. I need to be alone. Today, I’d be a irritant to anyone I try to talk to. So, dear readers, today, that’s you. Luckily, you have the option of walking away and I won’t even know since your on the other end of the ethernet cable – or wifi connection.
Over the last week I’ve been riding my bike, doing housework, working on bikes, reading books, browsing the web, and of course, working to try and feel useful. Today, I’ve gotten to where I don’t feel like doing those things. Sure, I rode my bike to work, did my IT stuff for eight hours, and have been cooking since getting home, but it wasn’t working to ease my mood.
I don’t feel useful – to myself or anyone else. I’m sure things will get better. I almost didn’t write this, but I felt it was one useful thing I could do today.
Is there a point to this post? I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just venting. Hopefully I’ll sleep well tonight and be prepared for tomorrow.