I’ve suffered with depression most of my life. It comes and goes. I learned some coping strategies years ago. The coping strategies aren’t something I can explain. There are no words for what I do. I’m able to change the way I think.
That worked until this year. I don’t know if the depression is deeper, or if I’ve forgotten how to cope, but I’ve had some bleak times. The most recent has been this week. Tuesday was bad. Wednesday was incredibly bad, helped only by the fact I was sick and slept most of the day. Thursday morning was bad. I had trouble pushing myself out the door.
Once I got on the bike, rode to work, and had a fairly productive day things started to look up. After work was the car-free happy hour. After that fun little gathering I went home and quickly went to bed.
I woke up a 2:00am this morning, and have been up ever since. I’m in a good mood, but I know the lack of sleep will get me later.
Depression causes a nasty downward spiral in me that leads to massive overeating at times. I give up on goals. It’s the last thing I need while trying to lose weight. Success in weight loss can help keep my mood in check, but I had a long stretch of weight gain, and it’s just now tapered off. I could still gain more.
I have a lot to do this weekend. Laziness and depression will make it difficult. I won’t be riding the bike this weekend so that I’ll have more time to get things done. A sense of accomplishment is always helpful.
I’m probably genetically pre-disposed to depression. I’m also looking into additional dietary supplements in case I have a deficiency. I also have a painful medical condition right now that isn’t helping. I’m still working with my doctor to diagnose and treat it.