My eating habits are only slightly better than before.  I have purchased a new hot-air popcorn popper.  I used it tonight.  Plain popcorn used to be a comfort food for me, but I had thrown away the old popper.  Now I can go back to this filling, low-calorie, snack that I used to enjoy.

In spite of the challenges, I’m in a good mood.  I’m not trying too hard to lose weight, just trying to prevent myself from gaining for a while.  Things are working well with Robin.  We’re now going out and doing something besides eating.  We saw a concert on Friday and a movie on Sunday.  We met with my daughter and her boyfriend on Saturday, but we did go out to eat then.

I feel more motivated to take care of housework and other related duties than I have in a while.

I probably won’t see Robin next weekend, but that will give me time to thoroughly clean house and catch up on other duties that need to be done.

I’ll take the bus to work most days now that I’m not riding my bike.  I’m considering walking a couple of days a week though, including tomorrow.  At least it’s still exercise and it doesn’t seem to hurt.

I didn’t ride the recumbent today (yesterday?).  This became important later.

I rode the Big Dummy.  I had my doctor appointment with my new family doctor.  I like my new doctor.  He’s nice, competent, and is honest.  He pointed out that my overeating and drinking are not only working against my weight loss effort (what weight loss effort?), but are adding to my depression.

So anyway, I met up with Tim again after work for our hour-long spin that we often do on Mondays.  As we rode more, my neck hurt worse.  It probably wouldn’t have been an issue on the ‘bent.  When we were nearing the end, I headed back on Payne St rather than following him back to his car on Mellwood Ave.  I wanted to cut the ride short.

I could have/should have went home.  Instead I stopped for food and beer.  I had my laptop with me so I made use of the free wi-fi and posted about my gastronomical disaster on BikeForums.

I went to bed after getting home.  I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my post on BikeForums.  Apparently many people are supporting me and want me to continue the weight loss.  There’s a bit of “tough love” including from some strangers.  :)

The BikeForums post, the discussion with Tim while riding, and my doctor’s advice are all ganging up on me.  It is time to make a change.  Sure I lost 100lbs in 2007-2008.  Since then I’ve either held steady or gained.  I’m up 30lbs from my lowest weight.  I don’t want to be The Fat Guy anymore.

The neck pain has mostly ended long rides, but I can change that by riding the recumbent.  I just have to push myself out there and I will ride.  I miss disappearing for a day with the bike and a camera.  I can still do it.

I’m not spending any large amounts of money on bike stuff for a bit.  Long-term, I don’t know what bike(s) I’ll be riding.  I have one bike that I can ride a lot now, even with my neck issue.  It really doesn’t need anything other than maybe better lights, but I’ll use what I have for now.  The last time I spent money on that bike (upgraded brakes) I barely rode it for months because my neck improved.  Not that I’m complaining…

I need to make some major dietary changes, but I’m not writing out new rules here right now.  I’ve done that a few times recently and failed each time.  I’m going to make some changes now, but the changes are more minor and less strict.  I’ll figure out more later.  I will start riding more immediately also.

There’s also the issue of Robin.  We tend to go out to eat every day.  She wants to make changes too, so maybe it’s time.  Overall, I think she eats better than I do.  We’ll need to figure out social activities that don’t involve copious consumption of calories.

I just got back from Four Pegs, where I had food and too much beer.  I walked, so no drunk cycling involved.

I called a cab to get to work this morning.  My neck pain made riding a bike pretty much impossible.  A co-worker gave me a ride home.

Patrick noted in a text message to me that I’m probably going to have a weekend without much cycling.  He was referring to “Robin the Redhead”.  :)  Although it’s probably true, it’s more to do with my neck pain.

I intend to ride the recumbent tomorrow.  We’ll see how that goes.  The pain was bad enough today that even that wouldn’t have worked well.  Even driving would have been problematic.

Unless my neck settles down, 2012 will be the year of neck surgery.  I’m not looking forward to such things, but if this is the alternative, I’ll take the surgery.

It’s strange, I’ve been slightly depressed all day, yet really looking forward to when Robin gets back in town tomorrow.  That won’t fix my neck issue, but will make me feel better anyway.

Dummy on the road

Friday
On Friday I rode the Big Dummy over 50 miles.  I rode out to Prospect to look at a used laptop.  I didn’t buy it.  I then headed out to Bluegrass Bicycle in Crestwood to pick up my new wheels for the LHT.  I took some really hilly roads on the way there and back.  I made a day out of it and stopped for food in Crestwood and coffee in Prospect.

Both Sleepy Hollow Rd and Covered Bridge Rd were very nice.  US42 wasn’t.

Saturday

Saturday was Christmas Eve.  I met up with others (I think it was Tim, Patrick, and Asher, but my memory is shot) early in the morning.  After riding around town for a while, I went to OYLC and hung out until noon, then went home.

Christmas
I didn’t leave home on Christmas.  I had a splitting headache most of the day.  I hoped my daughter would drop by but she never did.  I talked to friends and family on the phone.  I worked on my LHT, installing the new wheels and brakes.  I moved the bar-end shifters to the downtube, and re-cabled everything.

Monday
I still wasn’t feeling well, but I rode the updated LHT for a quick coffee ride with Tim.  I immediately hated the downtube shifting.  I’ll be switching back to bar-ends soon.  Sooner is better than later, as that’s the only bike the studded tires will fit, and I don’t think I’ll get much more good weather.

My neck and shoulder issue also flared up on Monday as has been getting worse ever since.

Since then…
I was back at work yesterday.  I rode the Big Dummy so I could haul dog food after work.  I rode the single-speed today and my neck was at it’s worst this morning.  It hurt bad enough that I got off the bike and walked about a mile.  This afternoon was better.  I’m hoping it’s easing up again.  I’ll know more in the morning.

Today was also the Car-Free Happy Hour.  We had a good turnout at Irish Rover on Frankfort Ave.  I think the 25 or so of us that showed up overwhelmed them a bit.  Although it obviously stressed out the server, she handled it well.

Holiday Season?
This is  generally a stressful time of year for everyone.  I was lonely on Christmas.  It was probably best that I was alone with the horrid headache I had.  Thanksgiving was better.  Patrick had invited me over, and I got to know his family.  I’m now invited to Andy’s house for New Year’s Day brunch.  I’m glad I have a few friends in the area.

My divorce is final as of Monday.  I found out yesterday, and got the paperwork today.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what could be done differently.  I’m done thinking about it now.  It feels like self-flagellation, and I don’t want to do that anymore.

When I talk to people about it they seem torn between saying “I’m sorry” and “Congratulations!”.  It’s kind of funny.  In reality it’s just closure and that’s a good thing.

On Friday, some co-workers were getting together to go out for food and beer.  I was invited, and social occasions are allowed per my self-imposed rules.  The fact I had an overly-large lunch earlier wasn’t good, but whatever.

I had a beer called “Morning Wood”, and I even shared my “Morning Wood”.  I made a (probably annoying) comment about the bike rack being free when others were complaining about parking meters.

I slept in Saturday.  I went out for a ride with Tim.  I got about 23 miles in.  I ate leftover split-pea soup.  I hadn’t gone grocery shopping.  I really wanted to go out for food and beer.  I successfully suppressed those urges.

I got up early today, Sunday, to meet Tim, Patrick, and Asher for a ride today.  I left before sunrise in the cold air.  It was a good ride, mostly urban.  Nothing epic, just four guys riding around.  I did have some snacks at coffee shops, but nothing extreme.  I ended the day with over 46 miles.

Again, later in the day I was really wanting to go out for food and beer.  I still haven’t gone grocery shopping.  I’m cooking a simple peas and rice dish that I actually have the stuff to make.  I’m not going back out, because if I do, I’ll find myself gorged on food and sloshing full of beer.

I’m slightly depressed because I know I shouldn’t go out to eat and drink.  Adding to that is the fact that I don’t like the way I feel about it.  I didn’t have this much trouble controlling my eating and drinking three and four years ago.  Why now?

I am killing time and forgetting about food for a while by burying myself in reading.  I’m currently reading Spin, which I highly recommend, at least if you’re into science fiction.

I have three bikes I’d like to add to my stable.  A road/brevet bike.  A dedicated gravel bike, and a mountain bike.

In addition to that, I have a wishlist of stuff for my existing bikes.  My LHT needs some work.  I want to swap out most of the drivetrain.  I want different brakes.  I want different front and rear racks, new wheels, lighting.  Ugh.  This gets expensive very quickly.

I’m trying to prioritize what to do first.  I already have a new front derailleur on order for the LHT, but that’s a repair.  I could have new wheels built for that bike, using the existing hubs, and that would be a repair also, as the brake tracks are very worn on the rims.  I don’t want to use the existing front hub though.  I want a dyno-hub for powering a new lighting system.  Although I already had a dyno-wheel built for that bike, I ended up using it on the single-speed.

My next big purchase was going to be a frameset for the road/brevet bike, but now I’m reconsidering that.  I’m thinking I need to put the money into the LHT to get it ready to be a do-almost-anything bike.  Some of what I’d do is repairs.  Some of it is upgrades.

I spent several hours looking at bike stuff online today.  I could have done something useful in that time, but I didn’t.

I’m going to go do some housework now.  Something useful.

I’m having a rough week.  I met with a lawyer on Tuesday to get the divorce started.  Papers were completed today and I stopped in to sign them.  I know I don’t like the way this whole ordeal has made me feel.  From what little Kristy has said, she’s feeling much the same way.

I wasn’t in the mood to cook after I got home today, but I wasn’t going to go out either.  I decided to read another book.  I burned through an entire novel, albeit an easy-reading one, in about three hours.  Once done, I revisited the dinner situation.

I had leftover spaghetti that I cooked yesterday.  I’ve been out of beer, and I’m not going out for more.  That’s probably a good thing.

I have several ride options for tomorrow, but I’m not sure I want to ride tomorrow.  I have a gravel ride with Patrick and Tim on Sunday.  I could stand to do some housework and yardwork tomorrow.  On the other hand, Timothy is putting on another LBC populaire tomorrow.

Maybe I’ll get up at 6:00am, eat a good breakfast, and decide what to do from there.

I’m going to go escape reality in my favorite fashion.  I’m going to sleep.

I’m thankful I have friends to join for Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m thankful I have friends that like to ride bikes in all kinds of crazy adventures.

I’m thankful for my job where I earn a decent living.

I’m thankful for my dynohub and headlight lighting my on the fast descent down Wolf Pen Branch Rd on the way home from Patrick’s house tonight.  :)

I met up with Tim and Timothy this morning for a pre-Thanksgiving ride.  It was a slow pace, and we cut the ride a bit short.  Tim and I stopped at three different coffee shops though.  That ride was 27.7 miles.

I rode out to Patrick’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  I appreciate having company and it was a pleasure meeting Patrick’s family.  The “bit o’ bourbon” was nice too.  I took the long way home in the dark.  Round-trip mileage was 28.5 miles.

Total mileage for the day was 56.2.  I’m sure I ate more calories than I burned, but I don’t feel like a total glutton.

What a strange trip it’s been.

• Diet, exercise, bought a scale and an elliptical
• Got divorced
• Bought a bike
• Got rid of the elliptical
• Became a bicycle commuter
• Appeared on TV
• Made new friends
• Lost nearly 100 lbs
• Met another woman
• Got married
• Moved into Louisville
• Gained 30 lbs
• Split up again – heading for divorce
• Continued a destructive lifestyle
• Went car-free

It’s time for me to reflect where I’ve been and where I need to go.  I’ve gotten too used to “instant gratification” in everything.  I feel I “deserve” things that in the long-term are bad for me.  So I’ve gained weight.

This is more than eat less/ride more.  This is my relationship with food.

Looking back on old posts to write this has been illuminating and given me new incentive to work at this again.  The wedding pictures especially.  I was about 20lbs lighter then than I am now, and I looked quite a bit better.

So, I’m going to work harder and see where I am in another year.  I hope some of you hang out and enjoy the ride with me.

Sometime in the next few months I’m going to create a camping pack that will contain everything I need for an impromptu camping trip.  Next time an opportunity pops up, whether a car-camping trip like this one, or a last-minute S24O, I’ll be prepared.

We really had no goal.  I wasn’t feeling strong (hell, my legs still hurt) so we didn’t ride fast.  I brought my camera along for the ride, but never even got it out.

After he went home, I sat at Cumberland having food and beer.  I ended the day at about 43 miles.

Once home, I did yard work and housework.  I really need to go grocery shopping again, but I hate grocery shopping and I’m constantly putting it off to the last minute.  I’ll do it another day.

I realized today how lazy I’ve become recently.  I’m having trouble doing the things that need to be done.  My house is a mess.  I’m letting things fall behind.  I’m not even eating properly, and I’m gaining weight again.

I’m not drinking enough water.  I did drink out of my water bottle during the ride, but then I was drinking beer before heading home.  We’ve all made jokes about hydrating with beer, but beer is lousy for hydration.  I spent a good part of the day after getting home being dehydrated and feeling sick.  I drank a huge glass of water which helped.  I’m now drinking a huge mug of herbal tea.

Yep, I’m in a mental funk.  Even when I’m not, I’m lazy and eat poorly.  I’m not sure how I got this way over the last few years.  I’ve made drastic lifestyle changes before.  I think it’s time to do it again.

I rode the Big Dummy and met Tim at Highland Coffee.  We enjoyed snacks and coffee before heading downtown then out River Rd.

We turned off and unto the Butchertown Greenway.  This was a peaceful stretch until on a blind curve the path was covered with walnuts.  There was also a cyclist standing astride his bike talking on the phone.  We made it through with no issue and continued on.

After a few more city streets we were on the Beargrass Creek Trail.  I really like this trail, and the Big Dummy makes quite the racket rolling over the bridges there.

After getting through the Lexington Rd/Grinstead Dr intersection we went through Cherokee Park, then into some neighborhood streets.

Eventually Tim went home, and I still needed more coffee and a proper breakfast.  I went to Twig and Leaf for an omelette and coffee.  The Big Dummy got quite a bit of attention from a group of cyclists who were finishing up their breakfast.  I then headed for home.

The Big Dummy is not a fast bike, but I was lightly loaded for today’s trip.  I rode 18.9 miles in an urban area with some small hills.  There were many stops.  My average rolling speed was 11.8mph.  I’m sure with a light load and flat straight roads and no stops, my speed wouldn’t be much less than on the LHT.  I did exceed 32mph on a downhill on Eastern Parkway.

I’m feeling quite lazy today.  I need to do yard work, housework, and go grocery shopping.  I’m not sure how much of that will get done today.

Click for full view

We had a server failure on Saturday.  I needed to get in early-ish today (Monday).  I woke up late and grumpy, so I drove to work.

Today was a whirlwind of activity.  I was there for over 12 hours.  I felt slightly stressed at times, but never overwhelmed (despite the problems we ran into).  I guess I’m a good problem solver but bad at time-management.  Time-management isn’t much of an issue during an emergency.

The problems are solved.  I stayed late to fix things.  I got home happy but hungry.

Despite “reminding myself” recently about weight loss and such, I went out for a burger and beer.  It was worthwhile.

Tomorrow, I’m back on the bike.  It’ll be a long day with a morning doctor appointment providing extra mileage.

I need to incorporate this productiveness into everyday.  Not only do I do better at work, I feel better about it later.

Monthly Average Weight

When I was having the most weight loss I was constantly reminding myself about my progress.  That was the point of this blog.

Since then, It’s turned into either talking about bike rides or complaining about depression.  Both of those affect my weight loss and will still be mentioned here, but I need to get back to basics and post my weight daily.  I just recently started weighing regularly again.

So there is now a Daily Weigh-In link under the pages section.  I’ll keep it as updated as possible.  It also has a link to a chart of my monthly progress that I’ll keep updated on a monthly basis.  I’m putting the chart here also, that is updated through September.

I’ve had some weight loss for the last two weeks.  I need to keep that going.

I think getting out of the hospital just made me so happy that I’m still overflowing with happiness… even though my vacation is over and I went back to work today.

I was beginning to get a bit worried about my digestive system again today.  There was pressure building up.  However, I’m happy to report that “everything has come out okay” this evening.  I do have a doctor appointment in a week to hopefully figure out what happened and how to avoid it.

I was sore today.  My legs hurt from the riding I did this weekend.  I didn’t do a lot of riding (80 or 90 miles over two days), but much of it was at a faster tempo than I’m used to and I was riding the single speed.

I had a massage after work, but I still have one muscle in particular that is bugging me.  Oh well.  It’ll loosen up.

I’m riding the LHT tomorrow.  I need to haul the trailer to pick up dog food.  I’ve done that with the single-speed, but it’s generally not a good idea.  There is no totally flat way to get home from Feeder’s Supply.

Living without a car takes more planning.  I’m prone to laziness and procrastination.  I’ll adjust.

I’m eating a lot of soup and getting by.

I intended to get up early this morning to do dishes and cook more food.  I overslept, and only woke up when Tim sent me a text to let me know he was at Sunergos, which is quite near my house.

I quickly dressed and rode the single-speed there.  We enjoyed coffee and scones and headed to Vic’s Classsic Bikes, where the LBC has a Sunday morning ride.

There was a decent size group on the ride (25+?).  I felt strong and Tim and I were running with the faster pack, although this isn’t a fast ride, but it felt good not to drop off the back.

After some flattish miles at 18-19mph up River Rd we turned up Lime Kiln.  I’ve done this mild climb on the single-speed before, usually with a commuting load, so it wasn’t a big deal.  I stood on the pedals and actually started passing people.  That left me quite winded near the top, so I dropped back where Tim was in the pack.

We made our way to Glenview Ave then back to River Rd then turned south into Indian Hills.  I struggled a little on the climbs here, but caught back up with the group.

We continued on through St Matthews, Seneca Park, then Cherokee Park.  I pushed to the front of the pack somewhere along there, and I saw a cyclist ahead who I thought was in our group turn right at what I think was Alta Vista Rd.  I didn’t know the route, so I followed.  Then I saw our group go flying straight through the intersection.

I did a quick U-turn and dropped the front wheel off the pavement into the ditch.  I went over the bars and rolled off my back unto my butt in the grass.  It didn’t hurt other than a slight tweak to my wrist.

I jumped up and began the chase to catch up.  I also managed to tweak my right (rear) brake lever, but it was still functional.

I wasn’t able to catch the group and I wasn’t even sure I was going the right way.  I eventually saw Tim waiting for me.  He did say this was a “dont’ drop Dave day”.  I guess that’s fair, considering I just got out of the hospital.  :)

Tim and I continued on along to Vic’s where the fast group was already loading their bikes up.  Vic, and the rest of them rolled up slightly after us.

Tim and I left and went for coffee and snacks at Breadworks.  While there we exchanged text messages with Patrick who was heading our way for a ride.  Tim needed to head home, so once Patrick arrived, He and I wandered westward, past the zoo, eventually heading north toward downtown.

Patrick and I kept a decent pace heading west from downtown into a headwind and into Shawnee Park.  At that point I was cooked, and we slowed down.

We refilled our water bottles at Shawnee and took the Riverwalk as far east as we could, up to the closed section behind the golf course, then took city streets back to Baxter Ave and to Vic’s as I needed to buy some supplies.

Vic was busy helping to bike tourists traveling for Oregon to Virginia, so Patrick and I went across the street for coffee at Quills… and another snack.

Patrick headed home, and I went back over to Vic’s.  I wanted to buy a T-handle allen wrench to fit my brake levers, but he didn’t have one.  I did buy new brake cables, housing, and doo-dads for the ends of each.  I also bought some new bar tape.  Vic is big into cloth bar tape, but I wanted the cork-like stuff.  I wanted a dull red, but he didn’t have red at all.  Patrick had suggested the blue earlier, but I didn’t like that idea with the red accents on the bike.

So, I’m a man.  I can handle it.  I bought (censored*) bar tape.  I’ll have pictures once I’ve completed the work.

I then rode to Keith’s Hardware, just a few blocks down the road and picked up the allen wrenches, then headed home.  I arrived home with 55 miles for the day.  I’m considering going out again today, but I have much to do including fixing my brakes and re-wrapping the bars with (censored*) tape.

I do have tomorrow off work still, as another vacation day, as I was originally going to Michigan this weekend.  I’ll get more riding in then too.

* You’ll have to wait for the pictures to know what color it is.

I was eavesdropping on an older couple on their first date from some online dating service.  It didn’t appear to be going well, but I got the impression they were going to spend the night together.  I walked home alone.  I wasn’t jealous of the guy, I would have ditched the woman.  :)

So, I ate too much and spent too much.  Tomorrow is the car-free happy-hour, and I barely have enough money for that.

Things were better at work today.  My mood took a nosedive once I got home.  I had errands to run (in the truck) and my mood improved.  One of the errands was grocery shopping, and I bought ice cream and beer, so that always brightens my day, even if for the wrong reasons.

I’ve pretty much concluded that my planned century ride in Michigan this Sunday (Apple Cider Century) is not going to happen.  I’m registered and everything, but with money being tight, affording gas for the drive is doubtful, and a hotel room is out of the question.  I considered camping, but the weather will be cool with a chance of rain.  Not ideal for camping.  If I change my mind and go anyway, I’ll tough it out in a tent.

If I don’t go, I have a four-day weekend, so I’ll go on several long rides over my long weekend.

Eh, whatever.  I’m just glad yesterday is over with.

I don’t want to be alone.  I need to be alone.  Today, I’d be a irritant to anyone I try to talk to.  So, dear readers, today, that’s you.  Luckily, you have the option of walking away and I won’t even know since your on the other end of the ethernet cable – or wifi connection.

Over the last week I’ve been riding my bike, doing housework, working on bikes, reading books, browsing the web, and of course, working to try and feel useful.  Today, I’ve gotten to where I don’t feel like doing those things.  Sure, I rode my bike to work, did my IT stuff for eight hours, and have been cooking since getting home, but it wasn’t working to ease my mood.

I don’t feel useful – to myself or anyone else.  I’m sure things will get better.  I almost didn’t write this, but I felt it was one useful thing I could do today.

Is there a point to this post?  I’m not sure.  Maybe I’m just venting.  Hopefully I’ll sleep well tonight and be prepared for tomorrow.

Around 10:30, Tim picked me up and we went to Waverly HIlls Park for some mountain bike riding.  I don’t own a mountain bike, so Tim loaned me one of his, a Redline Monocog.  It’s a single-speed mountain bike.  I’ve ridden it before.  We tooled around on the trails for about an hour.  One hour of mountain biking is a lot more exercise than one hour of road riding.

I had moved the dyno-powered lights from my LHT to the single-speed some time ago.  I had also bought new bar tape for the bike, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.  So, I wrapped the bars.  This is my first time wrapping bars, and it shows.  It’ll work, but I’ll need more practice.

I used red electrical tape at the ends of the bar tape.  I didn’t do a very good job, but it’ll be fine comfort-wise.  It just doesn’t look good.

I did yard work, lubed the chains on the bikes.  I’ve got a little housework to do.  I’m fighting the urge to go out for dinner (which will mean drinking beer).

No matter what I do the rest of the day, I can call today a good day.

Tomorrow will begin with a 6:00am bike ride.  I’d better not stay up late.  :)

I’ve done this before.  I know the doctor will come in and talk to me briefly before another nurse leads me to the treatment room.

He does.  I tell him this will probably be my last epidural – that I’m scared shitless of them now.

The nurse takes me to the treatment room.  I take off my shirt and put on the gown.  I lay down face-first on the treatment table.  The x-ray machine is put in place over my neck.  This is used to place the needle correctly in my spine.

My heart started racing.  I couldn’t breath.  I told them to stop.  They moved the x-ray machine and I got up.  They hadn’t gone as far as prepping my skin, but that was the next step.  I was done.  I just wanted out.

I apologized to the the doctor for leaving, but dressed and left.

On the ride home my mind was battling between shame and relief.

I’ve been at risk of undoing much of the health improvements I’ve done over the last four years.  My eating habits are not only directly unhealthy, but not great for my mental health with the self-loathing I feel after a whole week of eating bad… week after week.

I’ve let myself get lazy and distracted.  I haven’t been keeping up on household chores.  I’ve basically been a mess.

I’m going to refocus.  I’m weighing myself again.  I haven’t started posting it again because the page is crazy with too much data.  I’ll find a better way to present it soon.  My weight this morning was 236.4lbs.  That’s higher than it’s been since October of 2008.

I need to stop going out to eat so much.  Going out for pizza or a burger and a beer three or four times a week is not only working against my goals, but is costing too much money.

Today, I cooked a pork chop on the grill and had celery sticks.   I have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.  It was a sensible size portion and I drank water with it.

More Goals

In December 2008 I listed a few secondary goals.  I just revisited that.

• Learn to ride a unicycle (next year)
  I wisely gave up on this.
  
• Be car-free (three years away)
  Strangely enough, I’m on track for this.
  
• Either fix-up my house, or move (three years away)
  I moved more than a year ahead of the goal.
  
• Meet a woman crazy enough to like my lifestyle (never?)
  I got married – we’re split up now – don’t want to say much more than that.
  
• Ride a several hundred mile multi-day tour (next year?)
  Although late, I did this in March of this year.

Message From The Past

In January of 2009, I wrote something that I needed to read now.  Luckily, I do re-read my older blog entries occasionally.

I mention effort to save a life.  I was trying at the time to convince my audience that this is possible and necessary.  It turns out the audience is me in 2011.

Alright Then

If I fix my eating habits and focus more on productive activities, not only will I lose weight, but I should feel better about myself.  It’s not a cure for depression, but it means fewer bad days.

It’s strange that the things I crave when depressed (food & beer) are things that will eventually make me more depressed.  This is common.  What is it with the human psyche?

I’ve often heard of those who have anxiety issues along with depression.  That’s never been me.  Sometimes I get nervous, or scared, but I’ve never had an anxiety attack… until 30 minutes ago.

I’ve been depressed all day.  I’ve been unable to sleep tonight.  I was remembering that I have a massage appointment after work tomorrow.  Good!  Something to look forward to.  Then I remember I have an appointment on Wednesday to get another epidural.

I’ve already had two epidurals.  I was quite nervous about the first one, and I had a somewhat bad experience during the first epidural.  The relief I was received made it all worth it.  I wasn’t very nervous for the second one, and it went much smoother.

So, while laying in bed thinking about my upcoming epidural I got panicky.  My chest felt tight and I couldn’t breathe right.  I was re-living the sound and feel of the large needle sliding past my vertebrae.  I made up my mind that I can’t do it.  The realization that I can cancel the appointment is the only thing that calmed me.

Now I’m confused.  Why did I have an anxiety attack?  I’ve never had that problem before.  I’ll do some thinking during the day tomorrow.  I don’t really want to cancel the appointment.  I need the pain relief.  My neck is starting to hurt again and I have numbness down my arm.

I’m currently an emotional mess.  Today was the second anniversary of my second failed marriage.  I’m lonely, but know that I need to be alone.  I may never be able to have a live-in relationship.  Don’t worry.  I’m safe and I’m coping.  Writing about it helps sometimes.

Okay.  Back to bed I go.  I really need to sleep.

I’ve been in an emotional slump.  I tend to use food and beer as crutches.  That’s not good.  I’m slowly gaining weight.

I did spend a number of hours moving the dyno-wheel and lighting from the LHT to the single-speed.  It was a pain.  I know how to work on bikes, but I’m lousy at it.  I struggle with simple things.  I get it done, it just takes way too long.

I’m home sick today.  I haven’t left the house, and have no intention of doing so.  I have groceries so I’ll eat, and I’ll actually eat healthy today.  I’ve spent hours laying in bed.  Some of that time I was sleeping, some of it reading.

My kitchen is still a whirlwind of bike parts and tools.  I need to pick up the mess before I can cook.  <sigh>  Maybe I’ll just go lay in bed instead.

My sleep at the campground wasn’t bad.  I normally sleep poorly in a tent, but I was tired from the ride.  My bladder woke me at about 8:00am.  I was also quite cold, which was quite a change from when I first tried to sleep the night before.

I changed into fresh shorts and jersey and headed for the pit toilet.  I’m not squeamish about gross bathrooms when camping, but the bugs in this one were quite bad.

I went back to my campsite and struggled to get everything packed up.  I’m lousy at getting a tent rolled up to the proper size, which is quite important when bicycle camping.

When I was married to my first wife, she insisted that she would pack the tent so that I wouldn’t make a mess out of it.  :)

Once I had the bike packed, I rolled on out, at about 8:30.  I had an immediate need for coffee and a slightly less pressing need for food.  I’m going to have a fire and be able to cook and make coffee for any future camping trips.

I began the ride by backtracking my way down Hwy 62 and 462.  I deviated from my route by taking Feller Rd to Old Forest Rd.  Feller Rd was very scenic and that’s where I stopped to take my first pictures of the day.

The weather forecast didn’t call for rain, but with the cooler temperatures and darkening skies, I wondered if that was going to change.

Also along Feller Rd was this old, yet well taken care of cemetery.

I was really enjoying Feller Rd.  I think I only saw one car the whole time I was on this road.  I had been doing very well both days on enjoying the trip instead of focusing on making the next destination.

The mounting headache and hunger reminded me not to dawdle.  Beginning right before my turn on to Old Forest Rd, the road pitched upward.  I had quite the climb to handle, with grades exceeding 15% in spots.  This was on a loaded touring bike, before I had my morning coffee.  This was the first time I considered heading home on a more direct course.

After making the climb, things were just rolling hills.  It was an enjoyable ride with a little traffic into Corydon.

I found the local hotspot for breakfast, Frederick’s Cafe.  It was busy, loud, and cheap.  The coffee was harsh, but had caffeine.  I ate a huge pancake and some eggs.  The food was much better than the coffee.  I did have a picture of the pancake, but due to a technical mishap (I’m an idiot) it’s been lost.

The square in downtown Corydon is quite nice.

After heading out of Corydon on Corydon Ridge Rd again, I continued until Pfrimmer Chapel Rd.  I took this north and crossed over I-64.

I continued north until Crandall-Lanesville Rd, where I turned east.  The skies had cleared up by now.  It never did rain.

Eventually I ended up on Angel Run Rd.  More rolling hills, and some really cool red dirt made this a neat area.  Is this what a terra-formed Mars would look like?

While taking pictures of red dirt, I heard a train approaching.  So I backtracked to the railroad tracks to get a picture.

I rode through Georgetown.  I didn’t even see a store worth stopping at.  IN-64 was a mess to ride on, even for a few blocks through town.

I eventually found my way north on Kepley Rd.  Although I saw this sign, I never saw the cattle.

Kepley Rd became Carter Rd.  There were no serious climbs, but just rolling hills in a peaceful area.

Carter Rd ended at a T on John Pectol Rd.  The road was closed to the left, which was my intended route.

I’m not one to let a simple barricade stop me, so I went around the pile-o-rocks and continued.  Apparently the road has been closed for some time.  Nature was attempting to reclaim the land.  It was peaceful in an eerie kind of way.

I eventually came to a bridge over Big Indiana Creek.  The bridge is closed with barriers.  I wasn’t going to lift my loaded bike over the barriers, but I was able to lay it down and slide it under.  I got across to the other side, where I car was parked – someone fishing I assume – and grabbed another picture.  The road becomes Buttontown Rd at this point.  There’s a bit more traffic here also.

There’s a cemetery at the intersection of Buttontown Rd and Old Vincennes Rd.  There was a large shade tree near the road, so I stopped for a rest.  I simply laid down in the grass for about 15 minutes before continuing north to Greenville.

Greenville has a small city park.  They had restrooms with running water.  I was thankful for that, but things were dirty enough that I wasn’t going to fill my water bottles.

I headed north out of Greenville on Pekin Rd.  It’s a small climb out of town.  A kid on a BMX bike told me to be careful going up the hill.  I found that hilarious at the time.

I realized I was running low on water and hadn’t really had a good place to get any.  While riding through a rather suburban part of Pekin Rd, a woman was outside in her driveway washing rocks in a wheelbarrow.  I asked to refill my water bottles, and she cheerfully handed over the hose.  I thanked her and moved on.

I don’t think her neighbor is quite as friendly.

I eventually headed toward Voyles Rd.  I’m entering an area I know, a friend of mine lives nearby outside of Borden.  I think that some of my friend’s wife’s ancestors are buried here.

The town of Borden sits down in a valley, but I was still riding the ridge tops.

Louisville has the big bat.  I found the big paper towel tube.  (Yes, I know it’s a water tower).

I rode past my friend’s house, but he wasn’t home.  I had a nice downhill into the town of Borden.  While there I bought some more snacks at a gas station and refilled my water bottles again.  I took my time and enjoyed the break.  I spoke with several people who were coming and going.

Then came the next big climb.  I was leaving to the north-east on Jackson Rd.  I am familiar with this climb, but had never done it with a touring load.  It shoots up to about a 19% grade before falling back a little to about 13%.  I was prepared and already in my little chain ring.

Here’s a view looking back the way I came.  You can’t really see down in the valley where Borden is, but you can see the hills (knobs as they call them here) on the other side.

Shortly after finishing the climb my chain came apart and spooled unto the ground.  This was the second time I wished I’d headed straight home.

I was carrying a chain tool and spare master link, but they weren’t even necessary, as the chain came apart at the existing master link.  I don’t know why, it’s a new chain.  I spent about ten minutes getting it back together and continued on my way.  Riding along the ridge was rather pleasant.

After a couple of twists and turns, Jackson Rd becomes Bartle Knob Rd.  There was an older house to my left, and the view they must have – that was to my right – from their front door is breathtaking.

Before long, I’ve crossed over “the knobs” and it’s a fast downhill on Bartle Knob Rd.  Toward the end, I slowed enough to get a picture of this neat church.

I continued to Blue Lick Rd which took me past the truck stop, under the freeway, and into Memphis.  There was another old church there.

I was getting close to Charlestown now.  I’m familiar with most of these roads.  I had never seen this end of Fox Rd before.  They apparently are saving sign material for roads with short names.  Waste not, want not.

I rolled into Charlestown.  I stopped at my old house to check on it.  I talked to a former neighbor.  Then I headed toward Charlestown Pizza where I enjoyed a small pizza and some beer.

I headed out of town on High Jackson Rd.  The sun was getting lower in the sky.  I’m glad I had the dyno-powered lights on the bike.

That meant I was casting a long shadow.

I rode to Bethany Rd then crossed Hwy 62 – into the grass as Bethany Rd doesn’t continue.  I rode a few dozen feet to Patrol Rd, then down to Waterline Rd, which is all part of the old ammunition plant, but that section has recently been opened to the public as another way to get to Utica.

There are still many signs of what this land once was.  It may be a lightly-traveled road with forest, but it’s got trains, signs, and fences.

I eventually got to Upper River Rd.  This runs right between the Ohio River and some cliffs that used to be a quarry, and have since been turned into a housing development.

I continued through Utica.  My normal route from here would involve Utica Pike all the way through Jeffersonville, but I turned off through some neighborhoods and made my way to Middle Rd.  This was fortunate as there was a Dairy Queen on Middle Rd.

By the time I left Dairy Queen, it was completely dark.  My last stretch of the ride was flat, urban, and dark.  I got across the river and into Louisville late enough to miss most of the Ironman stuff going on.  I did notice that 3rd street appeared to be blocked from downtown to Old Louisville.  I went down 1st instead.  I arrived home about 10:30pm.

Saturday ended up at 43.9 miles.  I had a much more interesting 87.7 miles on Sunday that brought me up to 131.6 miles for the two-day trip.

I did get tired, but I stopped for rest when that happened.  Some of the steep climbs caused knee pain, even in my lowest gear.  I was able to go as slow as necessary because I had no real deadline.  I never imagined I’d be out until 10:30 on a Sunday night after leaving for the ride on a Saturday morning, but I had allowed the entire day, both days.  That allowed a lot of flexibility.  I hate riding fast to make a deadline.

I packed light for a camping trip, but I have lousy camping equipment.  I’d like to be able to carry cooking supplies and not carry any more weight.  I can probably do that if I replace my tent and sleeping bag.  Those are at least 10 years old.

I’ve learned that putting most of the weight on the rear of the bike, and the big, fluffy, light things on the front works best.  I also need a good way to carry more water.  I wasn’t even in the middle of nowhere like on the Big South Fork trip last year, and I still ran out of water.

I totally enjoyed my weekend.  I wish I could do it every weekend, but weekends are when I usually mow the lawn and take care of other household duties.

This was my route for Sunday:

I talked to my wife and daughter to make sure the dogs would be taken care of, and I headed out about 10:30 Saturday morning.

The weather was gorgeous.  Clear blue skies, mild temperatures, and a light breeze.  I rode through town, over the Second Street Bridge, and said goodbye to Louisville.

The old Colgate clock in Clarksville is neat, even if it’s now abandoned and doesn’t keep proper time.

Some people have compared my Surly LHT to a tank.  I beg to differ.

I headed northwest out of New Albany towards Edwardsville.  I knew the infamous Edwardsville Hill was coming up, but first I waited for a train to pass.  Notice the graffiti.  I’d be gasping later.

Then I began climbing Edwardsville hill in earnest.  It didn’t seem too bad even with my camping load on the bike, but I was still fresh.  I do have to say the the switchbacks are much more fun going downhill though.

The view from the top was definitely worth the climb.

I eventually made my way to Corydon Ridge Rd.  I’d never ridden this road, and I imagined it being very rural and beautiful.  In reality much of it was very suburban.  Some of the road names do evoke the old rural feel it must have had once.

While I took pictures of odd signs, my bike took a nap.

As I continued on Corydon Ridge Rd, it did get more rural.  There were gently rolling hills.

There were neat old barns.

I continued on and eventually made it to Corydon.  I stopped for a late lunch, early dinner at Magdalena’s.  It was good, but with dessert, I spent more than I intended, and they didn’t even have beer.  I did see Butt Drugs nearby though.

There was a guy with a fish net walking through Indian Creek.

I then headed out of town on Old Forest Rd.  The hills to the west became more prominent.

I’m not sure why hay (straw?) needs a “garage”.  You can tell I’m not a farm boy.

After a bunch of climbing, where I was too busy breathing to take pictures, I was running along the top of a ridge.  There were nice views for quite a distance… and yet I had good cell phone reception.

I saw an ass.

While still on Old Forest Rd, I eventually entered Harrison-Crawford State Forest.  It’s fairly obvious when you enter it, as the open fields and farms end, and you truly are in a forest.  It was cooler, shadier, and beautiful.

I stopped to un-hydrate in the woods a bit, and while I was away, my bike fell asleep again.  I can’t say I’m surprised.  It was a peaceful spot.

Old Forest Rd then becomes IN-462 and enters O’Bannon Woods State Park.  The primitive camping isn’t actually in the park, so I turned north on IN-462, and had a wicked-fast downhill to IN-62, where I soon reached the campground.

There was another downhill (on gravel) in the campground taking me down to the Blue River.  I paid just over $8 for a shady, grassy spot and set up the tent.

The ride there was just under 44 miles.  I still had hours until sundown.  I didn’t bring cooking supplies, just snacks that could be eaten as-is.  I brought my Kindle to have something to do.

The campground was far from quiet.  There were rowdy campers not far from me.  Once it got late and they settled down, I could here the distant traffic on I-64.  Overall it was a much better night than doing the same old thing at home.

My route there is shown below.

I had a longer day planned for Sunday.  You’ll have to wait until my next post to see how that went.

Although I can’t complain about the weather compared to what Pondero has gotten in Texas recently, we’ve still had a heatwave.  It seems to have ended this week.  We won’t be seeing 90 again for a while.  It’s been in the high 70s on the ride into work.  I love it!

Kristy signed a lease, and will be moving out soon.  This is both a relief, and scary at the same time.  I thought I spent enough time living alone after my first divorce, but I guess not.  Living alone will be hard, but necessary.

I’ve been riding the recumbent a lot.  It’s my main commuting machine due to my neck issues.  I still ride my other bikes though.  I pulled the single-speed out of the basement today.  It’s got issues with the freewheel, so I flipped it over to fixed gear.  The short ride I took felt very different.  I may commute on it that way a few times.

I’m in a strange spot.  I was ready to look for a new job a few months ago.  Now, I tolerate the job, and need to cope with everything else.  I’ve been more productive at work, and less productive at home.  <sigh>  I wish it were easier.

I do feel like I’m getting closer to being in control.  I also know that something else could come out of the blue….  I guess I cope my riding.  It’s my escape.

What am I waiting for?

I have a lot of changes coming.  My daughter is moving out of the house tomorrow.  My wife moves out in a few weeks.  There are plans in place to get ride of the house in Charlestown.  I’ll be selling my truck before the end of the year.

What’s that got to do with it?

Nothing, but mentally I seem incapable of handling too much at once.  So I’m waiting.  Not a great reason, but it’ll have to do.

What now?

My neck problem improved dramatically for a while, then started to get a little worse.  I’m going to start commuting on the recumbent again for a while, and save riding upright bikes for group rides, or gravel stuff, or whatever.

Miles!

My June mileage was horrible.  Due to my neck issues I rode only 110 miles.  July was better, but still a bit off, at 363 miles.  Back in March I rode 647 miles.

I met up with Tim this morning for a short-ish ride.  I ended up with 35 miles for the day.  I was happy with that.  I brought my camera with me, but never took a picture.

Where am I heading?

I’ll be car-free by the end of the year.  I will hopefully be back on track for weight loss.  I should be weighing myself again soon.

I will hopefully pull myself together enough mentally to be happy with what I have, rather than obsess with what I want.  I’ll still want things, I just don’t want to obsess over them.

• I ride a bike almost everywhere
• I go out to eat often and overeat when I do
• I drink beer several times a week
• I gain weight
• I suffer from depression

Maybe it’s time to not be normal.  I want to lose more weight and be healthier and happier.

I do have one change coming that I’m not quite sure of my feelings about.  Kristy and I are splitting up.  I’m not going to go into details except to say that we still love each other, but we rushed into marriage.  I’ll miss her, but I’m glad she’ll still be around town.

The question is, will that help me to focus on my goals, or push me toward beer, food, and self-loathing even more?

She won’t be moving out for another six weeks (give or take).  Once she does, I’ll work toward some of my simple living goals, which should help me determine what is important in my life.

Relationships are hard.  This failure has taught me things and will hopefully give me focus for the future.

I’m leaving work early tomorrow to get my first epidural.  My wife is meeting me there, as I’m not supposed to drive home.  I was going to drive to work, then out to my appointment, but I’ve decided to ride my bike.  The ride to work is easy, but the ten mile ride from work to the doctor’s office is on some busy roads.  (Shelbyville Rd out to the Oxmoor for you locals).  I’m going to do it out of principle.  My wife will still meet me there for the trip home.

There’s a sub-group of the LBC that approached us at RCCS about a populaire, kind of like a Brevet but shorter, and possibly less organized.  :)  There’s one coming up this Saturday and I’m making tentative (health depending) on attending.  It’s 100K (62 miles).  I’m not too worried about the distance.  I’m more worried about what kind of pace I can manage.

The 'bent with new brakes

I still hurt, but things have improved.  I’m back to riding my bike, even if I have to limit myself to the recumbent.  I had been taking a medication that did little good, but made me zombie-like.  I have discontinued the medication.

Yesterday was one of my most “normal” days since this all started.  ”Normal” is a very relative thing.

I took the ‘bent to Bluegrass Bicycle to upgrade the disc brakes to the much better Avid BB7 set.  First impressions are good but not mind-blowing.  Maybe my mind is gone, therefore cannot be blown.

This neck issue has really been a problem for over a month now.  It has seriously affected my bike riding.  Here’s hoping I’m coming out of that, even if it requires another bike.

Longer-term relief is (hopefully) in the works, then maybe I’ll be able to ride my other bikes.

Basically, I have an issue with a disc in my cervical spine.  I also have a bone spur.  It’s putting pressure on a nerve that runs through my shoulder and arm.  I don’t know much more than that.

My next appointment is with a neurosurgeon.  Yes, that means that surgery is probably coming soon.  What does all of this mean?

Bicycling

I rode my single-speed to work yesterday.  It was painful enough that my wife picked me up from work.  I drove to work today.

I’ll be picking up the ‘bent with new brakes on Saturday, but even riding that is going to be limited.  I’ll ride short rides here and there, but I’m pretty much done with the bike for the year.  :(

Weight

This is a wake-up call.  I’ve been gaining weight for a while, but this new bout of being sedentary could be bad.  I’m getting strict with my eating, now.

What’s Next?

A temporary measure to ease the pain until my appointment with the neurosurgeon involves a needle stuck into my neck.  That hasn’t been scheduled yet, but it could give some temporary relief.  After meeting with the neurosurgeon in about a month, I’ll know what I’m up against.

Goals

I need some goals, just so I can envision and end to this mess.  I’m still going to have to think about it more, but I do need another lifestyle change.  I need to get back to healthier eating.  I need to lose more weight.

Once the pain is better, I need some new mileage goals.  I need to start some strength training.

I’m trying to stay positive.  Nothing feels positive, but I’m working to change that.

I spent the entire three days laying bed.

When I woke up Saturday, my right shoulder/neck/upper back/right arm area was extremely sore.  I thought maybe I had just slept wrong.  Just thinking about riding a bike made me hurt.

As the day went on, it got worse.  I had been up moving around the house.  I took a shower.  I continued to get worse.  It was major pain that made doing anything impossible.  I couldn’t sit in a chair.  I couldn’t stand up for long.  Laying in bed with my right arm over my head was the only thing that eased the pain a little.

I had little sleep on Friday night.  Laying in bed during the day naturally led to falling asleep.  Sleeping though agonizing pain is a great thing… when you can do it.  I slept most of Saturday.

When evening came, I knew I’d be in trouble.  I figured I wouldn’t be able to sleep.  I was wrong.  I slept though the night and into mid-morning Sunday.

I had been taking an anti-inflammatory to combat the pain.  It had a limited effect.

Sunday was slightly better, but I was still mostly bed-ridden.  I didn’t sleep the day away, but read several books on my Kindle.

Sunday night sucked.  I was in too much pain.  I kept my wife up with my bitching and moaning.

Today (Monday) started bad, but got better toward the evening.  I read another book on the Kindle.

By evening I was able to sit at the computer for brief periods.  I hauled my recumbent bike out of the basement and prepared it for tomorrow’s commute.  Riding an upright bike is out of the question right now.

What caused this?  I have a few ideas.  I have arthritis in my right shoulder.  I have an mostly-constant stiff neck.  The two are probably related.

Last Saturday (the 21st) I rode 94 miles on my LHT to Danville.  My neck had been bothering me before the trip.  On Sunday I rode another 42 miles.  I also commuted on an upright bike every day.

When riding a road bike you actually have to tilt your head backward to see straight ahead.  I think I strained a muscle in there somewhere.  I believe it’s causing a pinched nerve.

I have an appointment with my doctor in about a week.  In the meantime I’m going to try to see a chiropractor.  I’ve never been to a chiropractor before, but this is way beyond what a massage therapist can handle.

I sent a text to Tim, and he rode his Ute up to join me.

We talked bikes.  We watched the people walking up and down Bardstown Rd.  We couldn’t stay long, we both had to work in the morning.  I had a few more beers than he did.

Waking today was rough.  The fact that I showered, rode to work, and made it on time despite the hangover is a testament to it being a great day.

The beautiful Spring weather is here, possibly temporarily.  It was sunny and in the mid-60s when I left this morning.  I was wearing my work clothes and didn’t immediately notice that I forgot my helmet.  I didn’t bother turning around for it when I did realize it.

Human power?

The commute home was pleasant.  It was clear and warm.  People were friendly.  When I was nearly home I saw my daughter riding her bike the other way.  We stopped and talked.  She was riding to the library to check out some books.  She invited me to come along, but I had things to do at home.

There is rain in the forecast, so I wanted to get the lawn mowed.  I needed more gasoline for the lawnmower.  I grabbed the gas can and walked a couple of blocks to the gas station.  At $3.89 per gallon it cost me about $10.50 to fill up the can.

There was a rumor at the gas station that the price would be $4.01 by tomorrow morning.

$10.50?

I’m glad I rarely buy gas.

My daughter called me from the library.  She was approached by David Morse, from CART (and he helps Bicycling For Louisville).  He’s photographing bicyclists in town.  He grabbed a couple of photos for his project.  He did share them with me later.

Dawn - still new at this cycling thing

Later when Dawn got back from the library, the two of us took the dogs for a walk down to Sunergos.  It was really too late (and a bit warm) for me to want coffee, but I did have an iced drink.

My dogs are overweight and out of shape.  The last stretch on the way home really did them in.  They’ll sleep well tonight.

Overall it was a good day.  It was better than many and great for a Monday.

Tomorrow will be a different adventure.  There is a 50% chance of thunderstorms.  I actually enjoy riding in a storm as long there’s no hail and the temperature is warm enough.

I haven’t been talking much about weight recently.  I don’t have much to write about.  I haven’t been controlling my diet.  I haven’t been weighing regularly.  I haven’t been losing (or gaining) weight.  My weigh has been steady at just above 220 lbs.  That’s quite a bit above my goal weight of 175.

I started this adventure at nearly 300 lbs and very unfit.  I had a sedentary lifestyle.  I was probably on the fast-track to a heart attack.

I was able to bring my weight under 200 lbs for a while.  I also got much more fit.  That took a lot of effort and self-control.  I still intend to work at that, I’m not giving up my goal weight yet.

One thing has changed.  My bicycle-centric lifestyle means I can maintain a weight around 220 lbs without much effort.  I drink beer and eat pizza with few limits.  I don’t eat fast food or drink soda, but that’s because I don’t enjoy those things.  Parting with them wasn’t difficult.

Maybe I’m just making excuses for not putting the effort into losing more weight.  I want to do some more bike touring this year.  I want to have more free time away from work and family obligations, but I’m not sure how to pull that one off.

I had planned another ride today, but I really needed to sleep in.  Now I have domestic duties around the house, and very little energy.

I crawled out of bed about 10 minutes ago.  I’m stiff and sore.  I still need to make some coffee.

It seems almost a crime to waste the weather today.  It’s supposed to get up into the 70s.  Maybe I’ll squeeze in a one-hour ride later.  Coffee, breakfast, and housework need to come first.

Riding a bike and other exercise left me tired enough to sleep, and I got into better habits.  My wife’s schedule has sometimes interfered with that.  Well, it should help now.  She now leaves the house at 3:45am.  I get up sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 unless I oversleep.

On Tuesday, I was up early, and left the house early enough to take the long way to work.  Yesterday, I overslept and <<shudder>> drove to work.

I got up at 3:00 today.  That gives me plenty of time to read email, make coffee (I started drinking coffee again), make breakfast, possibly write a blog post, and ride a few extra miles.

If I can fully get my body into this early morning thing, it’ll be nice.  Mornings are quiet and peaceful.  Traffic is still light if I head out early enough.

This trip happened because of Debbie’s idea.  She wanted to ride to Indianapolis.  She later couldn’t do the first half of the trip for her own reasons, but she planted the seed in my head.

I learned a few things from this ride.

Don’t bring too much. I was overloaded. I wasn’t even camping, but I was probably carrying 50 lbs.  I was carrying a laptop, but I needed to in case work needed to.  I probably wouldn’t do this on a camping tour.  I brought too many clothes.  I should only bring two sets of cycling clothes, one to wear while the other is getting washed or dried.  One set of street clothes and some raingear would have rounded out the clothing needs.  I had cycling gear for four days, street clothes, and several sets of socks and underwear.  I also had a sweater with me that I never wore.

Put some weight on the front. If you are camping, and are going need to carry a lot of gear, spread the load out between front and rear.  I had all the weight on the rear.  This normally worked, but during steep climbs in low gear, the front wheel would sometimes lift.  It wasn’t a huge issue, but could have been better.

Riding alone and riding with someone are different, and each has it’s advantages. I rode 30 miles with Michael.  I rode 120 miles with Debbie.  The remaining 130 miles were solo.  Riding solo is less hurried, less worry about what others think.  It’s quiet enough to lose yourself in thought.  It can also get lonely.  Riding with someone gives you someone to share the experience with, even if you don’t discuss much of it.  I will continue to ride solo and with others on tour.  I like both for different reasons.

Bicycling touring is a great way to talk to strangers. There’s something about being on a loaded-down touring bike that will get people talking to you.  There was an older couple at a restaurant in Salem that wanted to know about my trip.  An old man in Indianapolis at a downtown bar who discussed bicycling lifestyle (he’s car-free).  The woman working the desk at the Motel 6 was quite fascinated by our trip.  People are genuinely curious about what you are doing and why.

There’s a lot of time required off the bike. Finding food, resting, sleeping, checking into motels and/or camping all take time.   Packing/unpacking the bike is time-consuming.  You also need to leave time to talk to random strangers and friends alike.  I initially was too aggressive with my per-day mileage and had no time.  Luckily, I saved 30 miles when Michael picked me up in Bedford and took me to his place in Bloomington.  That gave us time to go our for dinner (and excellent beer).  On the last day of the trip, after arriving at Debbie’s house, she saved me another 30 miles by driving me home.  This allowed me to spend more time with my wife and daughter before having to go to work the next day.

Related to time is mileage. You won’t go fast when touring.  It’s not a race.  My average speeds were probably just under 10mph.  Trying to ride 110 miles on the first day was a mistake.  I rode 80 miles on the first two days, and 60 on the other two.  I should have tried to stay under 60.  That would have meant a longer (time-wise) tour, but I’ll plan for that next time.

Enjoy the trip, not the destination. Or as Pondero asked, “Have you been able to transition from destination obsession to enjoying the moment that touring affords?”  I think having a pre-set route for each day caused me to have “destination obsession”.  I knew that flexibility is best, but hotel stays, a host in Bloomington, and meeting up with another rider made it hard to be flexible.  I did enjoy the trip, but I was always looking forward to arriving at my destination.  I need to work on that.  I also need a longer tour to be more flexible.

It takes time to adjust to normal life. I didn’t think this would be an issue for me after only five days, but it was.  Going back to work was hard.  Cleaning house and other mundane chores just felt wrong.  I wanted to be out on the roads again.  I’m not sure what will happen after 30 days on tour.  Will I never be able to come home?

Most people are polite. Most bicycling forums, mailings lists, and random talk from friends paints the picture of the cager, an asshole wrapped in his metal shell.  There are a lot of drivers out there.  I took low-traffic roads when I could, but around cities it’s impossible to avoid the traffic.  I was passed by thousands of cars over four days of riding.  Nearly all of them drove politely near me.  On the way to Indianapolis, I had zero honks or screams.  There were a couple of close passes and impatient drivers, but they were in the minority.  On the return trip, it was during the week, and had a couple of honks and one yell, but again, the rudeness was very much the minority.  This was true even on US36 in Indianapolis or US50 in Seymour.

Sunblock is a necessity, even in March.  I had intended to bring my sunblock, but couldn’t find it.  I didn’t bother buying more, because it’s March and the weather forecast called for clouds.  Although everyday had a cloudy stretch, each also had sun.  I had sunburn on my neck and ears.

I want to plan my next tour already. I have this “head in the clouds” thing since getting home.  I want to go on a longer tour.  Maybe to Nashville now.  Across the country in a year or two.  I wish I had the time and money.

I need to get out and ride more often. Since moving into town, I don’t have a quick and easy 11-mile loop.  I need to come up with one, even though it would now be urban rather than rural.  I’m comfortable in traffic, so an urban route isn’t a problem.  I’ve been so fixated on bicycling for transportation, that riding everyday is nice, but I seldom ride during the week except for commuting or errands.  Maybe that will ease some of the yearning for the next tour.

I love my GPS. Some old-school tourers may say a map is all you need, but I’m directionally challenged, and the GPS was a godsend.  I understand the value of having maps also, but for easy routing without having to stop and pull out a map, the GPS did a wonderful job.  It worked for keeping me on track and finding detours when necessary.

Why tour? It’s not just about the bike riding.  There are a lot of reasons.  Meeting new people and seeing new places is often cited, but I don’t think it’s the primary reason.  Getting away is my reason.  Most of us need time alone.  Whether we are truly alone, or touring with someone else, it’s a good time to reflect on life, yourself., and the world.  You can process your past, plan your future, and enjoy the present while just turning the pedals around.

More Pictures? Why yes, I do have more.  Below are links to my Picasa Web Albums for each day of riding.  Each photo is geotagged so you see where I was when it was taken.

Saturday, March 19th
Sunday, March 20th
Tuesday, March 22nd
Wednesday, March 23rd

I was over-commited on time, and it stressed me out.  I dropped out of the triathlon, and any other competitive riding.  I’ll write in this blog when I feel like it, rather it being a chore.

I’ve worried that this blog is seriously off-topic.  I almost never write about anything other than bicycles now, but it’s my blog, and cycling is a huge part of my life now.

Anyway.  I own to sets of panniers.  A small cheap set, and a larger cheap set.  Neither has a great attachment mechanism.

The small set had a major zipper malfunction a couple of months ago.  It’s still usable, but I can’t close it all the way.  That set works best on the front rack of my LHT.  I can’t fit my laptop in those panniers, so it’s not the ideal commuting pannier.  Due to the hooking mechanism, I have to use bungie cords to prevent the panniers from falling off.  They have fallen off before.

The larger set has been pretty good to me, until a few days ago.  One of the hooks and other associated hardware fell off and was lost.  I thought I had spare parts, but I can’t seem to find them.

This has made commuting more challenging.  I’m still doing it, but I’d hate to drop the laptop in the road.  I also have a mini-tour coming up later this month.  Having a good set of panniers would really be nice.

My lovely wife bought me an early birthday present.  She ordered a set of the Arkel GT-54 panniers for me.  She really is a wonderful woman.  I’m getting the red ones.  Possibly this week, maybe next week.  I already have a red Arkel Tailrider trunk bag.

Sometime in the future I’ll buy the T-28 front panniers, also in red, to finish the “bike luggage” collection.

I’ve been ignoring the need to train a great deal for swimming.  Swimming is painful due to my shoulder arthritis.

I’ve made the decision to not compete in the triathlon.  Actually, I won’t be competing in anything.  I’m also not going to attempt to race the Tour Divide in 2015 as I initially intended.

The problem, is training.  Training isn’t fun.  Training hurts.  I don’t want to hurt.  It’s just not worth it.  I want to ride my bike and have a good time.

I had been formulating my decision all weekend.  I really didn’t want to talk about it.  I was ashamed.  I was angry with myself.  I posted on BikeForums about it with the subject “I’m a quitter“.  I actually got some really good feedback from the other members.

Quitting would be sitting on your sofa and eating cheese puffs. You’ve just refined your goals.

That made me feel better. I do still want to ride, and I want to ride a huge number of miles. I want to lose more weight, and stay fit. I want to go on a tour.

Life’s too short to do things you hate. Go out and ride, tour, randonnee, ride around the neighborhood….whatever. Do what you enjoy.

+1 on what everyone else said. Do what makes you happy. You’re still exercising and improving yourself by riding recreationally instead of training to race. I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to do that stuff anymore. I tried it during the first half of 1993 for mountain bike racing. It was mostly fun at first and I did pretty well, but when it came time to upgrade from the Beginner class the fun was over. It became the kind of sufferfest I DON’T like, and not worth it to me. I’d rather suffer on my own terms.

I mentioned that Kent Peterson was my inspiration for attempting the Tour Divide in 2015.

The thing to realize is that Kent is a mutant. I mean that in the nicest way possible; I’ve ridden with him and he’s a really nice guy, great advocate for cycling, etc. But he’s in a class above most when it comes to riding.
He’s one of those guys that can survive on little to no sleep. He can fuel himself on garbage. No, really… we’re talking about a guy whose personal slogan is “Not A Nutritional Role Model”. He’s done a 1200k fueled on little more than Payday bars and Starbucks. He can ride for hundreds of miles on trail mix and peanut M&M’s. He won the Raid Californie-Oregon (1200k from SF to PDX, fixies only) then rode the additional 200 miles back to Seattle so he could go to work. By his own admission, he doesn’t beleive in “training” either. When you ride 12,000/year you really don’t need to do anything additional as training.
Most of us, with the right training, could finish a race like the Tour Divide or a 1200k brevet. Some people, like Kent, Vinnie M (over 40,000k RUSA distance last year), and Mark T (4x 1200k events last year) just have a different natural ability for the sport, and structured training doesn’t play much into their routines.

I’m of the attitude that if it’s not fun anymore, then why do it?

I know I don’t need the approval of others to make these decisions, but it did make me feel more comfortable with it after the fact.  I’ve disappointed at least two people by doing this, but I want to ride a bike not run and swim also.

Doing and Being are closely related and can lead to a fulfilling life.  Having can make you a slave to fashion/posessions/marketing/consumption.

The lines aren’t always clear-cut.  You need to Have certain things to Do certain things.  The difference is in your primary focus.

I ran another race last Saturday, the Reindeer Romp 4k.  It was originally scheduled to be before the 5k I did a while ago, but it was rescheduled to to weather.  I did run a bit better pace (26:54 for the run, 10:49 per mile), but I was incredibly sore after the ride.

Running in general just seems like a bad idea for my body.  I have issues with my knees and hips when running.  I also end up sore all over the next day.  I do get a stronger endorphin buzz from running than cycling, but I’m not sure if it’s worth it.  I don’t enjoy running much at all.  I sort of enjoy the first hour or so after a run though.

My shoulder arthritis has flared up again.  I’m not sure of the cause.  That started to cut into my bike riding, until I got the recumbent out again.  I can ride the recumbent without aggravating the shoulder, but now it’s causing knee pain.  It may be I need to readjust the seat.  I’ve actually gained a little weight since I last rode it regularly.

I took (yet another) break from the YMCA.  Spin class really hurts.  Swimming aggravates my shoulder.

The real question is am I pushing myself too far?  I’m seriously considering dropping out of the triathlon training.  I don’t want to.  Completing a triathlon would be really cool.  It’s still the swimming I’m most worried about though.

I should know in a few more days or weeks.

I still felt like I was muddling through everything, but it’ll pass.  I’m glad today is Friday.  I’m taking Monday off (picking Kristy up at the airport) so the three-day weekend will allow me to completely recover.

I drove to work on Monday because I was sick.  I drove to work today because I had no motivation to do much of anything.  After work today, I barely had the motivation to drive home.  I could have slept in my office.

I did push myself to go grocery shopping.  It really did take pushing myself to accomplish that.  Ugh.  I need to cook tonight, but I’m not sure I’m going to.  I may just have a peanut butter sandwich and call it a night.

My bike mileage for the month is going to be lousy.  I was hoping for 500 miles, but I’m not much over 300.  I don’t have anything big planned for this weekend.  I need to recover.  I need to clean the house.  I am going to help Andy Dyson from Bicycling for Louisville move tomorrow.  He’s invited area bicyclist to help him move… by bicycle.  It won’t be many miles.  Both his current and future residences are very close to me.

No more coffee. My coffee consumption has skyrocketed.  I seldom brew my own, I go to the coffee shop and end up buying snacks while I’m there.  It’s hurting my weight loss effort, and my wallet.  I’ll drink water and milk.

Very little eating out. I guess it’s a mental thing where I feel like I have to treat myself.  I’ve been doing it too often, and it’s causing problems.  I need to pack a lunch when I go to work, and cook dinner at night.

Very little beer.  I love beer.  It’s something I treat myself with, usually when going out for dinner.

No ice cream. I haven’t had any recently, but if it’s in the house, I’ll eat the whole container.  Kristy will be home soon, and probably bring some in the house.  If the allowed amount is none, it should be easier for me.

Changing weight-tracking. I’m still weighing daily, even if I haven’t updated the page here in a while.  I’m no longer going to post daily weights.  I’ll change the weigh-in page to be weekly averages.  Then maybe I’ll be able to keep posting regularly.

I did mention some exceptions to the changes.  I may occasionally violate one of the rules during social functions.  This could include an RCCS coffee ride, pub crawl, whatever.  If I ride a 40-mile round-trip to have pizza and beer, that’s okay.

I won’t be training this week, but I will be back at the YMCA on Sunday.  It’s time to get in gear again.  After the triathlon in July, I’m going to re-attempt switching to a paleo-diet.  I tried before, but I felt like crap when I didn’t eat carbs.  I’ve since learned that it takes 2-3 weeks to adjust.

We had a good turnout.  A total of seven of us arrived in Holland IN for the ride start.  With the snow on the ground, mountain bikes were pretty much required.  I don’t own a mountain bike, so the LHT had to fill that duty.  I had the studded tires on which worked great on the icy patches near the beginning of the ride.

The route was beautiful.  The terrain was lovely.  The road surfaces were horrid.  Once we got away from town, none of the roads had been plowed at all.  The snow was pushed down “two-track” style by car tires.

We headed west out of town.  We kept a reasonable pace, and I felt strong.  I almost felt confident due to the amount of ice, and my studded tires.  As the roads got more snow-covered, it got a little tougher, but I kept a reasonable pace.  After just over four miles, the route headed north.

At about mile 13, my speed dropped considerably, and I knew I was struggling.  It took too much effort to push through the snow.  My brakes were caked with snow and nearly non-functional.  The studded tires had little traction on loose snow.

Also along here somewhere, the five faster riders left Tim and I behind.  Tim and I decided to cut the Winslow portion of the route off and take a shorter route.  We headed south on CR 650E where the others went north.  This was probably a mistake.  I could have used some real food, and a chance to warm up.

This way also took us directly through Ferdinand State Forest, which had the worst road surface we saw.  Looking at the GPS logs, my top speed through that stretch was in the single-digits.

We continued on.  I sometimes stopped to walk the bike when I just couldn’t get traction.  I was completely out of energy.

We finally made it to SR64.  The road was clear, and I wanted to take it as far as possible toward Holland.  Tim was thinking a little clearer, and didn’t like the 55 mph speed limit, high-traffic highway, and directed us on SR257 instead, which wasn’t as clear, but had little traffic.  After some distance on SR257, the other five riders came up behind us.

We rode together to the tiny town of Stendal and regroup and took a few photos.  I was done.  I wasn’t going any farther.  There was an (out of business) general store with a bench out front.  Despite the cold temperatures, I sat on the bench and announced that I couldn’t ride anymore.  They tried to convince me to continue to avoid getting too cold, but I was adamant.

After only 34.5 miles, I had bailed on the ride.  I was disgusted with myself.  Maybe I was coming down sick (that’s actually possible, had a rough day today).  Maybe I just had the wrong bike for the ride (that certainly contributed).  Maybe I was just having an off day (like the spin class I ditched after 10 minutes).  Maybe I’ve been training too hard for the triathlon and wore myself out.

I’m still glad I rode.  The scenery was beautiful.  I managed to dress well for the temperatures.  I even survived sitting on that stupid bench with only a small amount of shivering.

More on Tim’s blog and on the RCCS blog.

I could still go for a ride, but everything I think of has me riding to go spend money on food I don’t need.  So, I’m going to stay home and eat responsibly.

I’m not drinking tonight.  I don’t feel a strong urge to celebrate the new year.  I’ll probably be asleep at midnight.

I’m hoping tomorrow will be better.  The weather may not be as nice, but a nice long ride to clear the head, and fewer drunks on the road may make for a nice day.

Bad:
At the Y today, I did three laps in the pool before needing to stop.  I’m training for an event that will require swimming the distance equivalent to 35 laps in the pool.
Good:
When I first started riding a bike, a mile seemed like forever, but I quickly built up to riding 60 miles.

Bad:
I was completely unable to do a single pull-up.
Good:
I’m now using a weight machine to strengthen those same muscles.  I expect to be able to do pull-ups in a month or so.

Bad:
The scale hasn’t budged recently.
Good:
My pants feel a little looser.  I may be gaining some muscle mass.

Bad:
I still suffer periods of depression.
Good:
I can muddle through until I feel better.  Muddling through is what I’m doing today.  :)

Why?  I don’t know.  How do I know?  I was at the downtown location today becoming a member.

Why am I becoming a member?  Well, I will write more about that later.  I have a new goal, a new obsession, and a good way to lose weight and get more fit.

I will tell you why I’m doing what I’m doing, even if I’m not telling you what I’m doing, yet…. Confused yet?

I was involved in an online discussion about the “fat person mentality” that tends to hang around people like me, even after shedding the pounds.  It becomes an excuse to not do things.  You tell yourself “I can’t do that, I’m just a fat guy”.  The name of this blog really shows the issue.  Yes, I was a fat guy when I started it, but am I still?  Even if I am a little, is it enough to prevent me from doing things anymore?

No.  It’s not.  I can do anything that any other normal person can do.

So, I’m taking a challenge.  I’m going to push myself.  The Y membership will help me.

More tomorrow.

My previous marriage ended before the bicycling started, and I met a bunch of great people while bicycling.  I’ve often made the comment that bicycling is my social life.

It’s still true, In fact Tim, Michael, and another David (who I haven’t met yet), are getting together for a ride tomorrow.  The weather should make it interesting.

Nearly all of my recent riding has been commuting or running errands.  My wife has been out of town for work a lot recently.  I feel like I have no social life.  I don’t make friends easily.  I keep to myself most of the time.  I did go out for beer and pizza tonight, but it felt a little pathetic sitting there by myself watching others.

I left the house this evening (in the rain on the bike) to try to improve my mood.  I ended up at Za’s Pizza, which has great pizza and good beer, but I don’t know anyone there.  It was really kind of sad.

I shouldn’t be eating out anyway, but I couldn’t sit in the house any longer.  Blah.

I’ve been more productive in getting things done around the house.  I cooked, cleaned, and even updated this blog.  :)

I’m feeling better.  It may be temporary, it may not, I don’t really know.  I do know that being lazy makes me feel worse about myself later.

I woke up late this morning, and it was cold, so I really didn’t want to ride.  I refused to drive to work though.  I took the bus, which was probably a mistake.  The bus was busting-at-the-seams crowded.  Nobody wants to walk when it’s 15 degrees.

Tomorrow morning is supposed to be cold also (although it’ll be warmer in the afternoon), but I’ve already packed my bike.  That will keep me motivated to get on the bike.

I decorated the single-speed with Christmas lights tonight also.  Now that I have two bikes decorated, I really need to take some pictures.

I did see a doctor.  A lot of ideas were bandied about.  Some of the ideas were scary, others were not.  Here were some of the early guesses:

• Yeast (would have easy to treat)
• Herpes (how?!)
• Cancer (eek!)
• Fungal infection with secondary bacterial infection (ugh)

Most of these were eliminated with testing.  One, herpes, there isn’t a sure-fire test for.  That bothered me.  Then the nature of the rash changed a bit, and wasn’t herpes-like at all.

My doctor suggested a visit to a dermatologist.  I made the appointment.  About a week before the appointment the rash went away completely, other than two small dry patches on my upper buttocks area.  So, I cancelled the appointment.

A few weeks later it was back with a vengeance.  It had spread around to the front too <<shudder>>.

I’ve mentioned that I have depression issues.  Unknown, seemingly chronic, health issues, especially painful, embarrassing ones, really add to depression.  I really hated life for a while.

The strange thing is, this really didn’t cause a huge problem with cycling.  Cycling was no more uncomfortable than sitting at my desk at work.

Sleeping at night was miserable.

Eventually it cleared up, back to the two small patches of dry skin.  Apparently those are the key.  I had another doctor appointment yesterday.

It’s either contact dermatitis, basically an allergic reaction to something, or eczema, which I had as a kid.  There is no test to easily verify this.  It’s basically ruling out everything else.

Why would this pop up this year?  I have a few ideas.  I got married last year.  Things changed in the household.

• Soap
• Laundry soap
• Fabric softener
• New lotions
• Diet

I believe that one or more of those things are responsible.

Yesterday, I bought “free & clear” type laundry soap.  I used to buy it before because my youngest daughter has sensitive skin.  Well, maybe that’s why I was able to avoid the problem before.

I also bought some unscented skin creme (Eucerin, same as my mother used on my brother and I due to eczema).

I re-washed all of my underwear, since that appears to be the “hot spot”.  I’m not (yet) switching soaps, but I did read that using as little soap as possible is a good thing, because it dries the skin out, exacerbating the problem.  Strangely enough, water itself is an issue, but using the creme directly after a shower should help prevent drying the skin worse.

I’ve also started taking Vitamin D-3 supplements.  Vitamin D-3 isn’t for the skin specifically, but it has a host of benefits including boosting the immune system.  One of the issues with my scaly skin is that it sometimes cracks and bleeds, and could lead to infection.  A stronger immune system can help prevent that.

I’m at a good point with it now, so if I can prevent it from occurring, that would be great.  Right now, nothing is cracked or bleeding.  There is no real itching, just two small dry, scaly spots.

Having a plan to heal this makes me a lot better.  Now here’s to hoping it works.

Sorry if this was TMI for any of you.  I did promise to write more about it after my last post.  :)

• A health issue I haven’t said much about, but now I know what it is, and what to do.
• I’ve been horrible about eating out, and drinking beer.  Today, I broke the trend, cooked, and ate better.
• I drove to work two days last week.   I even paid $8.75/day to park *eek!*
• I had an appointment with my doctor in New Albany this morning, so I rode in the bitter cold to the appointment, then to the lab for blood work, then to work.  After work I rode to the drugstore before heading home.  30 miles in 15-20 degree temperatures was a testament to my dedication, or insanity, you choose.
• I’m still gaining weight.  I am weighing, but haven’t caught up on posting it here.
• After more diet & health research, I’ve started taking 5000 IU of Vitamin D per day.
• I put Christmas lights on my bike again this year.  I’m sorry I don’t have pictures yet.  I’ve gotten a lot of positive comments from random strangers.
• I put the studded tires on my LHT.  It seems I was a bit premature, as the roads have been fine, but I really don’t want to change tires again already.
• I still haven’t started my upper-body exercises in earnest.
• My moods have been up and down.  I feel great today, but last week had some hellish days.

Anyway, I’ll have more to say later.  I’ve got things to do, then I’m going to bed.

I haven’t been cooking.  I go out to eat almost every day.  I’ve been drinking beer several times a week.  I’ve been snacking.  The only exercise I’ve been doing is bicycling.  I haven’t stepped on a scale in a while.

That’s changing now.  I will drink NO beer until further notice.  I will cook and prepare lunches to take to work.  I will not go to the coffee shop, unless it’s to buy more whole bean coffee or to buy a cup of coffee on a bike ride.

I realized earlier today that I would have ordered pizza today for Thanksgiving had I found a place open.  As I got hungrier, I cooked what I had here at the house.  I hadn’t went grocery shopping in a while, but I had pork chops, frozen vegetables, and a couple of potatoes that I made into mashed potatoes.

The meal was satisfying, even if it meant I had to skip turkey, stuffing, and cranberries.  :)

I had hoped to be under 200lbs by the end of the year.  I now know that’s not going to happen.  My revised goal is to be under 210lbs by the end of the year.  It’s going to mean a difficult push to even do that.

I’ll get back on the scale tomorrow morning, then update my daily weigh-in page.

I’m thankful for being married to a wonderful woman.

I’m thankful for having friends who will ride with me in the rain.

I’m thankful for having a job that pays the bills, and sometimes makes me feel useful.

I rode with Tim last night.  It was 35 degrees and raining.  We rode together again this morning, it was still raining, but had warmed up near 60.  Other than riding a bike, my Thanksgiving plans are simple.  I’ll cook myself a small meal and talk to a few loved ones on the phone.

I have my dogs and cat for company around the house.  I have housework to do.  It’s not a bad way to spend the day.

To be clear, Eastern Parkway is a four-lane divided road.  Tim and I were taking the right lane, leaving the left lane free to those that needed to pass.

We passed the same car as he was held up in traffic.  He passed us again shortly throwing something at me.  I think it was magazines, or junk mail.  It was heavier than loose paper, but lighter than a book.  It fluttered toward me until bouncing harmlessly off of my back wheel.

Tim and I both attempted to read the license place, but were unable to.

My advice to others has always been “just let it go”, “don’t worry about it”, or “don’t escalate it”.  I managed to completely ignore it, and not even get the adrenalin response that normally comes with such conflicts.  Being able to control myself made for a much more pleasant ride.

This is only the second time since I started riding in 2008 that I’ve had things thrown at me.  It is the first time it’s happened in Kentucky.

Look forward, not back.

That worked until this year.  I don’t know if the depression is deeper, or if I’ve forgotten how to cope, but I’ve had some bleak times.  The most recent has been this week.  Tuesday was bad.  Wednesday was incredibly bad, helped only by the fact I was sick and slept most of the day.  Thursday morning was bad.  I had trouble pushing myself out the door.

Once I got on the bike, rode to work, and had a fairly productive day things started to look up.  After work was the car-free happy hour.  After that fun little gathering I went home and quickly went to bed.

I woke up a 2:00am this morning, and have been up ever since.  I’m in a good mood, but I know the lack of sleep will get me later.

Depression causes a nasty downward spiral in me that leads to massive overeating at times.  I give up on goals.  It’s the last thing I need while trying to lose weight.  Success in weight loss can help keep my mood in check, but I had a long stretch of weight gain, and it’s just now tapered off.  I could still gain more.

I have a lot to do this weekend.  Laziness and depression will make it difficult.  I won’t be riding the bike this weekend so that I’ll have more time to get things done.  A sense of accomplishment is always helpful.

I’m probably genetically pre-disposed to depression.  I’m also looking into additional dietary supplements in case I have a deficiency.  I also have a painful medical condition right now that isn’t helping.  I’m still working with my doctor to diagnose and treat it.

Folding Bike - No Lock Required

Tim, Mark, and I worth the three people that showed up for last night’s RCCS Brew Cruise.

I rode my Dahon folding bike to avoid having to lock up.  I ended up with it locked to Tim and Mark’s bikes for most of the stops, but I did carry it into BBC Taproom.  The other establishments were packed, and I wouldn’t want it to get in the way.

My previous post was quite negative.  I’ve been fighting off frustration with many things in live, and dealing with depression.  Luckily bicycling has made me feel better about myself, and introduced me to many new people.  I now consider some of those people friends.

I now have a social life again, due to the bicycle.

I’m under a lot of stress.  I have a physical issue that is causing me pain.  I hate certain aspects of my life and my job.  Changing jobs won’t fix it.  The problem is me.  I don’t know how to fix me.

I’m not losing it.  I’ll get up tomorrow, ride my bike to work, then join Tim and others for an RCCS beer ride after work.

I need to quit reading the news.  Maybe being ignorant would be better.  I definitely need to quit reading most public forums.

I wish I could opt-out of society.  If I weren’t married, I would cut the cord for phone and internet.  If someone wanted to communicate with me, they’d have to come knock on my door.  How quaint.

Okay, this post has become almost as bad as the original, but with less personal information.  ’nuff said.

Sunrise over the Ohio River

I did ride on Sunday with Tim.  I’ll write about that and share some pictures soon.

I intended to ride to work yesterday.  I headed out the door on my LHT shortly before 7:00 am and made it less than two miles before my chain broke.  Discouraged, I called my wife to come get me, and changed into work clothes, and drove.

In addition to getting a new chain for the bike, I made a second, spur of the moment, purchase at another bike shop.  I bought a Brooks Professional saddle to replace my sagging Brooks B-17.

Barge on the river

The hot weather has passed.  It was about 63 degrees when I left the house.  It was very comfortable weather with clear skies.  I couldn’t have asked for a better commute to work.  I may stay sane after all.

Trying to be visible

 

The commuting rig

 

Coffee Thermos - not a nuclear weapon

My eating on this trip could have been better, but I still did much better than the old Dave that I used to be.  That Dave would have eaten several plates at each meal.  I generally had normal size meals.  I did have some unnecessary snacks.  I had a few beers.  I haven’t exercised at all.  I could have, there is a fitness center here.   I’ll still be eating lunch here, and probably getting something to eat at the airport, but I’ll keep it light.

I’ve been thinking a lot about re-focusing on the fitness and weight loss.  I have gotten fatter.  I hate having a gut that hangs over my belt.  At one point, I was well on my way to not having it.

There will (probably) be a fun bike ride tomorrow.  There will be drinking, so it’s not a healthy ride, but I will practice moderation and make the purpose of the ride social rather than enjoying too much food and beer.

After that, I’ll probably go some time without beer.  I also need to clean up my eating again.  I need to avoid ice cream completely.  During my weight loss, I was able to limit myself to a single scoop of ice cream.  Every time I’ve had ice cream recently, I’ve had entirely too much.  I’m not sure why I have less self-control than I use to.

EDIT: Nasty weather has cancelled my flight, and a bunch of others.  I’m stuck in DC for another night.   I really hate air travel.

I’m sitting in the Louisville airport waiting to fly to DC via Cleveland.  I have a work-related conference to attend.  They will provide (too much) food.  I need to control my portion sizes.

I’m not bringing a bike with me.  Without riding, I should be able to get by with very little food.  When I get home I’ll concentrate on eating right again, re-start the food-diary (again), and start weighing myself again.  I’m also going to start using my dumbbells and doing push-ups.

The hotel I’ll be staying at has a fitness center, and I am bringing proper exercise attire, so I should be able to squeeze some time in on the weight machines.

My goal weight is still 175.  My lack of progress has been maddening and a bit depressing.  I’ve used being busy as an excuse to not eat right.  That needs to change.

There go my bicycle commuter miles for the week.  I’m planning on throwing my folding bike behind the seat, but I’m not sure how much time I’ll have for riding.

When I get back, I may, or may not make a one-day trip to Michigan and back on Saturday, then fly to Washington DC on Sunday.

Why, yes, I am a bit stressed out.

My numb hand is back to normal.  I rode the LHT into work today with the stock saddle.  My poor Brooks saddle is sagging and causes numbness.  The stock saddle wasn’t great, but didn’t cause numbness.

Now that I’ve ridden the LHT almost 40 miles for the day, I know that I still have fit issues.  I tweaked the saddle position some, and rotated the handlebars forward.  I’m going to ride again tomorrow and see how much improvement there is.

Not riding to work causes me stress.  It’s weird.  I drove to work every day for many years.   I even had a hellish 35-mile one-way commute for a couple of years.  Yet I felt that sitting in the car with creature comforts made it okay.  I don’t feel that way anymore.  I don’t like throwing away money on gas, parking, and car maintenance.  I don’t like gaining weight.

I do like the fresh air, sunrise, weather (except headwinds), adrenaline rush, and the overall alive feeling I get when riding my bike to work.  It gives me something to look forward to twice a day.

I’ve been riding a lot of miles.  I broke a few records on Sunday.  I’ve ridden two centuries in a little over a month.  I hit 3000 miles of cycling for the year during my commute today.  I’m well on track to get 5000+ miles for the year.

The depression that was really affecting me earlier this year has gone away.  I’m sure it’ll come back again some day, and I’ll have to cope.  Overall, I’ve been feeling really good recently.

Bad Stuff

My eating has been crazy.  It’s partially from being hungry from riding.  It’s partially due to treating myself to beer, pizza, ice cream, steak, and similiar items much too often.

I haven’t had any real weight loss since March of 2009!  That sickens me.  I know weight is just a number, but I still have a gut.  I feel like I’m way too fit for this gut.  I’ve got to lose the gut.  Damn the gut!

I’m having comfort issues on my newest bike, Surly Sue, the LHT.  Although I’ve ridden two 100-miles rides on that bike, the recent rides have left me with possible ulnar nerve issues in my left hand.  I also have some saddle issues to figure out.  As such, I’m riding Oria, my recumbent, more often, as there is no pressure on the hands.  I will get a bike fit to help get comfortable again, but in the meantime it’s nice to have another option.

What’s Next?

I’m trying to get my eating under control.  I had started my “food diary” back up a while ago, but that didn’t last long.  I need to track what I eat.

I’ve decided that I need a fast bike.  Both my current bikes are designed to be comfortable for hauling stuff long distances.  Neither is really designed to be fast.  After much thought, I think my fast bike will be a recumbent.  Probably a Bacchetta Strada.  It won’t be until at least next year until I can afford one, but that’s the plan.

Unfortunately, normal for me usually means my wife is out of town.  That will be true again.  I’ll be taking her to the airport early tomorrow morning before work.

So, mostly alone, body healed… It’s time to ride some miles.  :)

I’ve been unable to sleep much at all.  I ate very little yesterday, and limited myself to soup, ice cream, and popsicles today.

This damn bacteria set up shop in the back of my throat and is trying to poison me.  In addition, my own body is making me miserable while fighting the bacteria.

I felt better mentally after finding out that this was strep, and having a plan to get rid of it.  Now I’ve been suffering with it long enough that it’s affecting my mood badly.

The thought of riding my bike is comical.  I don’t even want to step outside.  Actually, I’d rather not be inside either.  I want to be able to sleep through this.

Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow, and I’ll quit whining.

Today, I forced myself to get on the bike.  Once I was rolling, it was worth it.  I took the recently re-opened Waterline Rd on my ride to work.  It’s a peaceful wooded stretch of road and I rarely see a car.  I did see two turtles on the road.

I wasn’t feeling up to riding home after work, but I really didn’t have good options.  Traffic was bad.  Drivers were rude.  I really felt for a while that the world isn’t meant for people anymore, but instead is made for cars.

I pulled into a parking lot, walked over to some grass, and just sat down and enjoyed the feel of the grass.  I was a bit farther from the road now, so the traffic noise was more distant.  I thought about napping, but figured it would be a bad idea.  After drinking some water and reflecting on where I’ve been recently, I suddenly felt much better.

I hopped on the bike and the rest of the ride home was awesome.

Saturdays are often a good day to sleep in.  I was awoken early this morning by a thunderstorm.  After falling back asleep I was awoken again by a phone call from work at 6:00 a.m.  Our website was offline.  A quick check revealed all internal stuff was functional, so it was the web hosting company.  A few phone calls later everything was resolved.

The thunderstorm had passed, I still hadn’t had my morning coffee, but I really needed to clear my head to prevent a bad mood from ruining the day.  My lovely wife called and suggested I ride my bike.  So I did.

I headed out on my 11-mile loop.  It was still raining lightly when I left, but it stopped pretty early into the ride.  I wasn’t in a hurry.  It wasn’t a training ride.  I just wanted to relax.  So I took almost an hour to ride the 11 miles, then rode to the coffee shop to get my caffeine fix.

I’m now home, and things are looking up!  The sky in mostly sunny and blue, the temperatures are warming up, and I’ll be watching my youngest daughter at her high-school graduation ceremony tonight.

Last Saturday I rode a Century.  I rode my bike to work and back 4 out of five days this week (I overslept on Thursday).  Most days this week were calling for rain, but I avoided it each time, other than a few sprinkles.

My commuting for the week racked up 140.5 miles on the bike.  I’m not doing any big rides this weekend.  I may not ride at all.  I have a lot of “domestic” stuff to do.

Depression

I’ve had a depression issue for most of this year.  It lifted mysteriously on Thursday, May 27th.  I’ve been almost giddy ever since until yesterday (the day I didn’t ride) and my mood darkened.  I rode again today, and things are well again.

Does riding fix the depression?  Is the cause more subtle than that?  I don’t know.  I do know that it’s hard to get on the bike when I’m depressed.

Diet

I’ve been eating better, other than Wednesday where I went out for lunch, and again for dinner.  I overate to the point of discomfort at dinner.  I hate it when that happens.

Weight

My weight is still bobbing around between 200 and 210.  It may linger there forever, but I now know that I must monitor my weight regularly and watch what I eat for the rest of my life.  This isn’t negotiable.  If I fail to do this, I will gain every pound back.

My goal weight is still 175.  It may take a long time to get there.  It seemed to be in striking distance at one point, but the loss has stalled.

I watched a speech by a doctor discussing a few things about obesity.  I recommend it if you have a spare 90 minutes.  The advice he gave was:

1. Be as fit as possible at your current weight
2. Prevent further weight gain
3. If successful then begin weight loss

That’s not the way I did things.  I started with the diet, then exercise, now I’m hoping to lose more weight, but trying not to gain more.

When I started this adventure my BMI was about 41.  Standard medical procedure for someone like me would have been gastric bypass.  I’m glad I didn’t go that route.  I rather like having a complete GI tract.  My BMI is now about 28, which is still considered overweight, but I would no longer be considered for surgery, and that is a very good thing.

What Now?

I got a bit lazy after losing 100lbs.  I started to indulge in the foods I love.  I thought I could still do it, because I’d already lost weight, and because I ride my bike… a lot!

Well, that’s not the case.  I went two months without weighing myself and gained almost 10 lbs.

I’m back to keeping a food diary.  I am weighing myself daily again.  I’m making more appropriate decisions about what I eat and drink.

I may have to give up beer.  It’s a weakness for me, and I often go to a wonderful food establishment just for the beer.  Then, of course, I partake of the food also.  I really wanted to go again today.  I didn’t.  I stayed home and ate sensibly.  If that particular establishment is off-limits to me, and I quit drinking beer, it would be easier to stay on track.

I ate too much today.  I went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.  I cooked steak for dinner, but I feel good, and I think it was worth it.

I’ve been busy with little things.  I’m still setting up my new work laptop.  I’m doing the bills.

I’m in a good mood even though I haven’t ridden today.  Maybe I just needed the break.  I’ll be back on the bike tomorrow… probably in the rain.

• Home
• Post Office
• Coffee Shop
• Bank
• Work
• Doctor’s Office
• Coffee Shop
• Home

It turned out to be 43.5 miles in beautiful weather.  I had to spend a few hours working, and some time getting poked and prodded by my doctor, but overall a good day.

As far as my crushing depression I was having before… It disappeared <poof!> last Thursday.  I did discuss it with my doctor, but I really don’t want to take medication for it.  As far as an existing medication causing it, I should get the lab results soon.

Oh, I weighed this morning.  I’ve gained weight, as expected.  My weight this morning was 211.2, which is about where I was in early February.  So, I lost some progress again.  I’m back on the wagon.

I talked to Michael about riding with him in the Bloomington area.  He was happy to host a ride.  We did about 63 miles over some nice terrain.  It was hilly enough to keep it interesting, but not so hilly as to totally kill me.

I want to thank Michael for hosting the great ride and planning the route.  I’d like to thank his wife for feeding us lunch.  So, thanks!

I didn’t get very many good pictures, but I’ve posted a few of what I have below.

Although I didn’t ride today, Memorial Day, I had plenty of other activities to keep my busy.  My mood has brightened greatly since early last week.

I did manage to get my butt out of bed early enough to ride to work today.  I feel much better.  I just need to keep doing it.

Motivation to do much of anything has been hard to come by.  I haven’t ridden to work yet this week, or last week.  I did go to work, but I drove, and even that was a challenge to push myself out the door.

I had intended to ride today.  The weather has been beautiful.

I’ve been suffering from a bout of depression for several months.  It’s been a recurring problem in my life, but I thought I had it beat about three years ago.  I was wrong.

More recently, some not-so-pleasant things have happened in my life that further add to the depression.  What has this led to?

• I’m pretty sure my weight is up.  I haven’t actually weighed myself.
• My eating was out of control until this past weekend.  I have pulled it back together.
• I’ve fallen behind on many things I need to do at work and around the house.
• I’m not riding the bike enough.  This week was Ride Your Bike to Work Week, yet I did not ride to work a single day this week.  Then again, I was only at work for three days due to my Washington DC trip.

The only real positive thing is that I have been successfully fighting off the urges to overeat.  I’ve been craving pizza and beer, but I’m cooking at home and leaving beer out of it.

I did visit a bike shop on Saturday, but I was just looking around.  I have done some walking.  ”Playing pedestrian” is a nice change of pace.

Kristy and I drove the rental car from Herndon to DC and back yesterday.  Parking in DC itself is crazy.  I would have rather been on a bike.

After eating entirely too much on Saturday and hating myself for it, I ate better yesterday.  It’s still early today, but I’m determined to get my eating back under control, whether or not I’m traveling.  I haven’t weighed myself since April 1st, and I’m a little scared to step on a scale again.  I will weigh myself on June 1st, but not before.

That said, I am enjoying playing tourist and spending time with my wife.  I fly out tomorrow morning, and will spending some time at the Detroit airport.  If I can avoid some of the food, and concentrate on just getting home, that will help.

I’ve been fixated on two numbers.  200 and 175.  175 lbs is my goal weight. 200 is the barrier that I’ve been trying hard to get below and stay below.  So far I have failed both of these numbers.

What do I owe to these numbers?  Why do I obsess over them?  Numbers are hard facts, even if they aren’t the right facts.

I haven’t weighed myself since April 1st.  I’ve been trying not to obsess.  I have been overeating, and have probably gained a little weight.  I’ve also been putting quite a few miles on the bike.  Maybe it will balance out, maybe not.

I will start weighing myself again, but not yet.  Maybe in June.

Weight and Diet

I haven’t been tracking my eating or weight since I got back from DC.  I’m trying to concentrate less on that, and spend more time enjoying life.  Practicing moderation is still hard for me.

Riding

I’m still riding a fair amount.  I went on a 50-mile mixed-terrain ride with Tim on Sunday.  It was a beautiful day in a beautiful area.  See a few pictures below.  Also check out Tim’s post with pictures.  Yes, there was a stream crossing.  Yes, there was an off-road section.  Yes, we were both riding LHTs.

I didn’t ride to work on Monday, but I did ride on Tuesday.  My wife picked me up from work on Tuesday, so my mileage isn’t quite where it should be.

Encounters

While I was standing outside work waiting for my wife to pick me up yesterday, Adam approached me about my Surly LHT.  He apparently has been, or still is, bicycle touring across the U.S.  I didn’t have enough time to find out the details, but we talked bikes for a few minutes.  He’s touring with Dwight, and they are documenting their travels online.  It seems they haven’t updated the blog since last month though.

Vacation

My wife and I are leaving today for a vacation in the mountains of North Carolina.  We’ll be bringing bicycles, but that’s not really the point of the vacation.  With luck I won’t have cell reception.  :)

My daughter will stay home to take care of the dogs and go to school, so this should be a really low-stress vacation.  I’m looking forward to it.

Mental

When I initially lost a lot of weight it gave me a huge sense of accomplishment.  Unfortunately, that fades over time.  I’ve been fighting with depression again.  I’m not sure of the best way to deal with it.  I’m not a believer in medicating for it.  Writing about what I’ve done and where I’m heading is probably the best tool I have to keep the depression at bay.  I do have to say that today is much better than yesterday.

Pictures

Enjoy!  I did.

Diet

I believe the paleodiet works.  I think it could work for me.  However, it’s a trial and error process to get there.  Since I started the paleodiet I’ve been suffering depression and lack of energy.  I’ve also had dizzy spells.  I don’t have the drive to figure out how to adjust the diet, so I’m switching back to my previous diet.  I need to watch what I eat.  I used to track calories, but I’m not going to this time, unless I start gaining weight again.

My new-old diet has helped me feel better, mostly.  My energy level shot back up quickly.  The depression is fading, but not quite gone.  I’m still having minor dizzy spells.

Biking and Travel

I’m writing this from a hotel room outside of Washington DC.  My wife is here for work, and I drove to meet her.  I’ll be heading home in a few hours.

I brought Nermal with me to ride around DC.  I’m glad I did, but I’ve had some mechanical problems with the bike, and may be retiring it soon.  Kristy joked that I should have a “funeral” for the bike, and make an ID card identifying the bike as a “parts donor”.

I rode just over 30 miles on Friday, and did some sight seeing around the capital.  It’s Cherry Blossom time, and a beautiful spring day, so the crowds were out in force.

On Saturday, I only rode about 10.5 miles, because I turned back due to the mechanical issues I mentioned.  I didn’t want to walk back to the hotel.  I spent most of that ride in Alexandria.

I have to admit that the Mt. Vernon trail is rather nice.  It was heavily used while I was out.  There were many cyclists, runners, walkers, and what not.  I saw three trike riders.  I stopped and talked to Michael riding a Greenspeed X5.  He was kind enough to let me take it for a short spin.  Now I have another item to add to my wish list.  :)

I’m a bit underwhelmed by the “bike friendliness” of the area.  Although the trail was nice, getting off the trail and unto a major artery in Alexandria was met with much honking, yelling, and even the flashing of a badge.  I later looked it up, and I was allowed in the road.

In the part of DC itself that I rode in there weren’t actual bike trails, but simply wide sidewalks that were also used as bike paths.  This was not ideal, especially with the crowds.  In fairness, it was faster than attempting to ride in the streets, where traffic was mostly stationary.  I also managed to fall over while coming to a stop in front of hundreds of people.  That was embarrassing.

There is a bike/pedestrian path along the Woodrow Wilson Memorial Bridge.  This path makes it possible to easily ride from Alexandria VA over to Prince George’s County MD.  I wasn’t able to find any good bike riding on the Maryland side.  There were a lot of riders going back and forth across the bride, many of them with children.

Bicycle Indecision

I’ve put a lot of miles on the new Surly LHT I bought in January.  I’m still having comfort issues with it.  I’ve ordered a new stem from Bluegrass Bicycle to raise the handlebars (I’ll be picking it up on Monday).  I’m hoping that it will help.  I rode the recumbent to work on Wednesday, and had forgotten just how comfortable it can be.  I can ride many miles on the Surly, but do I want to?  I can climb steeper hills with the Surly, but I can climb most hills on the ‘bent, and walk the ones I can’t ride up.  I won’t be buying another upright bike until I’ve made up my mind about this.  Poor Nermal (the cheap hybrid that is now broke) will not be replaced.

Bicycle Commuting

Kristy will be home on Monday also.  I’ve ridden a lot of miles while she was gone.  I can’t let that stop.  I love the way riding makes me feel.  It isn’t even just about weight loss anymore.  It’s a combination of things.

• Weight loss
• Save money on parking and gas
• More freedom from car issues
• Sense of accomplishment
• Endorphins!

I get cranky when I don’t ride, so to be a better husband and father, I must ride often!

Weight

My weight had dipped when I started the paleodiet.  It’s now gone up a little, but seems to be holding steady now.  I haven’t been weighing as often.  I’ve actually quit focusing on weight as much as I used to.

I’m trying to find a healthy balance in my life for everything.  I tend to obsess over things, so I’m taking a temporary hiatus from weighing myself.

Video

I shot the following video of a plane coming in for a landing at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport.  There is a park along the Mt. Vernon Trail with great views of the planes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQHa7c0rlGc

Pictures

A rare empty area on the Mt. Vernon trail

Capitol Building from a distance

Cityscape

Tourists in front of the Lincoln Memorial

Washington Monument

Cherry trees are blossoming

I rode my bike to work every day this week, except on Thursday.  I feel good about that, but haven’t been feeling good in general.  More on that later.

$30 worth of rubber, wasted

Monday I rode the long way to work.  A beautiful route through Utica with lower traffic volume than the normal route.  The ride home was cut short by a large nail, and I called a friend for a ride.

Tuesday, I took a wandering route that was longer than my standard commute, but not as long as the Utica route.

Wednesday was the full Utica route, without a tire failure this time.  I’m really enjoying the longer days than we had a few months ago.

Thursday I didn’t ride to work, but I did ride a few miles to get pizza and beer.

Today, Friday, I took the direct route to work and back.  It was cold and windy this morning, and slightly less cold and windy this afternoon.  I throughly enjoyed the ride to work, but the ride home was a slog.

I’m not planning on riding tomorrow, as I’ve got a lot of other things going on, but I am planning a 55-60 mile RCCS ride on Sunday.

That will push me pretty close to 200 miles for the week.

Weight and Diet

My weight is fluctuating around 200 lbs again.  My eating habits aren’t where they should be.  I’m drinking a beer as I write this.  I’m seriously considering giving up beer for good.

My paleo-diet idea is currently just that, an idea.  I’ve been consuming pizza, brownies, ice cream, beer, chips, and other things that I shouldn’t.  I think I need to reformulate the how and why I eat.  I can better change my behavior if I understand it.

Mood

This has been a rough week.  I’ll write a seperate post about it when I can put it into words that don’t come out sounding whiny.  I went too long without updating here because I didn’t want to post something that basically means “Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!”.

Marathon Winter Tire

I haven’t posted in two weeks.  What happened?

I’ve been busy.  Some of it was necessary, some of it was fun.  I’ve been riding, but not quite enough.  I’ve been following my paleodiet a bit better.  I’ve  been losing weight.

The RCCS had a another coffee ride last Sunday.  It was a lot of fun.  Due to scheduling issues, we didn’t have one today.

Tim got a new bike.  It’s a Kona Ute, a cargo bike.  I have no real need for a cargo bike.  If I get a trailer, I’ll have even less need for a cargo bike, but I really like his Ute.

My Daughter's Nook

My daughter got a Nook.  I got studded tires for my bike.  Winter still won’t go away.

A shifter on my new LHT broke.  On Your Left Cycles has ordered a new one for me, and fixed up the existing one well enough to have most of my gears.

I’ve order some slightly wider tires for my LHT.  I should have them by Wednesday.  There as wide as I dare go for enough clearance between tire and fender.  (42-622 Continental Contact).

I’ve been under a fair amount of stress.  I’m trying to teach my daughter to drive, but her attitude has made that difficult.

The stress makes me want to eat poorly.  I’ve been doing pretty good at avoiding that for the most part.

With my weight hovering right around 200 I’m trying to push it under that 200 lb mark.  I know that’s just an arbitrary number with no real meaning, but it does have a psychological meaning to me.  My goal weight of 175 is also just another arbitrary number.

Weight

I (mostly) lost weight through the first half of the year, but mostly gained it all back in the last half.  I’m still happier with my weight than I was in 2007 or 2008 though.  I need to have the self-control that I did in 2008 again.

Bike Mileage

I didn’t make my goal of 5000 miles.  I knew I wouldn’t fairly early.  I did ride 3,860 miles for the year, which beats the previous year of 2,238.

Month by Month Review

• January 2009
  • Biking irregularly due to weather and ice storm
  • First RCCS ride
  • Rode 277.8 miles
  • Average weight of 216.5 lbs
• February 2009
  • Gave up the idea of living car-free in the near-term
  • I assumed (wrongly) that I’d hit my goal weight by August
  • Rode 263.3 miles
  • Average weight of 208.2 lbs
• March 2009
  • I met Kristy
  • Rode 192.4 miles
  • Average weight of 204.6 lbs
• April 2009
  • My car died – spent two weeks without one before buying my truck
  • Kristy and I were engaged
  • Kristy left the state for a few months
  • Rode 290.9 miles
  • Average weight of 206.6 lbs
• May 2009
  • Rode the 60-mile Tour de Cure
  • Set a new weekly mileage record of 186.1
  • Rode 452.0 miles
  • Average weight of 203.3 lbs
• June 2009
  • Weight was under 200 lbs for a while
  • Set a new weekly mileage record of 201.9
  • Rode 542.2 miles
  • Average weight of 202.0 lbs
• July 2009
  • Kristy came home
  • Went to West Virginia with Kristy to meet some of her family
  • Rode 371.3 miles
  • Average weight of 201.8 lbs
• August 2009
  • Managed a 20-mile ride in Michigan while traveling
  • Almost sold my recumbent
  • Business trip to San Antonio – Too much good food
  • My daughter came to live with me
  • Rode 199.6 miles
  • Average weight of 208.4 lbs
• September 2009
  • I married Kristy in Florida – managed to bring bikes and get in some riding too
  • Finished The Ride to Conquer Cancer – I enjoyed the achievement, but I’m not really sure I want to spend the (fund-raising) time to do another charity ride
  • Rode 298.9 miles
  • Average weight of 212.4 lbs
• October 2009
  • Kristy left again for work
  • Rode 436.1 miles
  • Average weight of 209.7 lbs
• November 2009
  • Went mountain biking for the first time
  • Rode 443.9 miles
  • Average weight of 209.8 lbs
• December 2009
  • Kristy came home
  • Spent Christmas in West Virginia
  • Kristy left again
  • I’m gaining weight again, it’s going to take work to get back down
  • Rode 91.6 miles – holy crap!  what happened here?
  • Average weight of 215.2 lbs – wow back to January weight

Overall

I’m happy with what I’ve done for the year.  I met a wonderful woman, fell in love, and got married.  Looking back at my posts from the past year, many of them seem rather negative.  I guess it’s easy to focus on the times when things aren’t going as planned.  Things usually don’t go as planned, but work out alright anyway.

That doesn’t mean I give myself a pass on not losing the weight and keeping it off.  I very much intend to achieve my goal weight of 175 lbs, and stay there.  I’m hoping I can do it before December of next year.

Happy New Year everyone!

Now I ride because I enjoy it.  It’s a way to relieve stress, keep me fit(ter), and still allows me to play with gadgets.  My gadgets are now mechanical instead of electronic.

I’ve realized that my weight loss has become secondary to riding a bike.  I’m disappointed that I can only ride one day (tomorrow) out of my three-day work week next week due to other obligations.

I only managed one ride in the last week, a 50-miler with Tim.  I even pretended to be on a single-speed, by not shifting (for most of the ride anyway).  Tim was riding his QuickBeam, which is a beautiful single-speed bike, but I’m not currently looking to have a dedicated single-speed bike.

My Next Bike?

Why am I up at midnight now, when I have to get up at 5:30 to prepare for the ride in?  I’m planning and scheming in my head.  I’m trying to figure out how to come up with the money for my next bike.  It’s a sickness. 

Why a new bike?  Why a Surly LHT?

• I want to start touring.  I hope to ride to Michigan next year.
• Touring bikes make great commuter bikes.
• The Atlantis is too expensive.
• I carry a lot of stuff on my commute.  I’ve been ridiculed for how much I carry.  A touring bike can carry more.
• I’m not convinced I need a recumbent, and I rarely ride mine now.
• My current upright bike, Nermal, is a low quality bike, with a lot of money put into it.  I have more upgrades I want to do, but should probably put them on a new bike.
• Upgrades?
  • Better rack
  • Wider tires
  • Front rack
  • Dynohub lighting system

A quality bike like this is one I can have for the rest of my life.  It’ll cost some money, but nothing compared to my used truck.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still want to lose weight.  I’m still watching what I eat.  I still hop on the scale nearly every morning.  I just want to ride a bike even more than I want to lose weight.

That’s just one of those simple things that is easy to forget.

The week starting on the 12th was a little crazier.  I still managed to ride to work and back 3 days.

Why could this affect my riding?

• I spend an extra 1.5 hours per day commuting when I ride
• I have less physical energy
• I have less mental energy after an extended amount of bicycle commuting
• I need more sleep when I ride a lot
• My weekends have been busy with personal errands and tasks (such as moving Kristy’s stuff into the house)

This past week, I had enough, and I was exhausted.  I still rode on Tuesday, but that was it.  I paid $8.75 per day to park for 4 days, and drove my truck.

I’ve been so busy, I’ve been running and doing something from the moment I wake up, until I get to sleep at night.  Some of it is work, some of it is moving Kristy’s stuff, some of it is normal domestic crap.  Oh, yeah, Kristy is out of town, so she’s not here to help.  I’m not blaming her, she wishes she could be here.  I also have my younger teenage daughter living here and increasing the stress level.

On Monday I applied a software update that has led to a work-week-long pain in the @ss.  This coincided with two other screw-ups (one of which is partially my fault).

On top of this, I had to come up with a fat chunk of money for a lawyer.  I’ve got some legal issues to deal with.  It’s just a “family law” matter, nobody is in trouble or anything. 

So, it’s late on a Friday night.  I can’t mentally let go of the issues at work, so I can’t sleep.  I can’t fix the issues at work until at least Monday.  I have to get up early tomorrow to finish up at Kristy’s old apartment.

On the bright side, I will be done at the apartment tomorrow.  I’m going to try for a bike ride on Sunday.  I think I’m going to get back on the bike for full-time commuting again on Monday.

I don’t know who said it, but the phrase “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans” applies perfectly.

Wish me luck!

I have an extremely busy weekend planned, but I still want to get a few miles in.  I’m hoping to squeeze in an evening ride with Tim on Saturday.  It may even be this crazy bunch.  On Sunday I’m planning on attending the Harvest Homecoming ride.  My daughter may, or may not, come with for this ride.

I feel pretty good about the last five days.  I’ve been riding more, sleeping well, and (mostly) eating better.  My weight is slowly heading in the right direction.  I’ve been more productive in spite of the chaos surrounding my life right now.

My commute is mostly flat and can be high-stress due to traffic.  So tonight, I went for a nine-mile spin in the country after dark.  My lights lit up the cats, skunks, bats, and even a frog along the road.  The night insect noises and the whir of my tires were the only noises.  There were a few hills to challenge my legs a bit more than usual.

There was some distant lightning that was my cue to keep the ride short.  I really wasn’t in the mood to get stuck in a thunderstorm.  I’m now home, and the lightning is still distant, so I could have probably squeezed a few more miles in, but I’m happy with the ride I had.

Although short, this was the best ride I’ve had in a while.  It does wonders for clearing the mind.

I’m going to hop on my bike tomorrow morning and ride to work.  I’m going to quit drinking Coke (again).  I’m going to eat out less. I have Nermal’s rear wheel fixed, and will re-install it tomorrow.

I’m spending some time with Kristy on Friday and Saturday.  I’ll also be school shopping for my daughter.  I’m hoping to get a good ride in on Sunday.

I’ve had some depression issues recently.  I’m not sure how much of it is due to work, and how much is due to not riding my bike and gaining weight.  The solution is to ride my bike… which is harder when I’m depressed.  I’ve got to break out of the cycle.

After deciding to sell the recumbent, then changing my mind, I did ride it to work today.  I’m still suffering knee pain while riding it.  There are no big hills on my commute, maybe something needs adjusting.

My 17-year old daughter is moving back in with me.  She has lived with her mother since the divorce, but she’d rather take her senior year of high-school here rather than in Michigan.  I’ll be driving up there on Sunday to move her.

I’m still eating too much.  After two decent days, today was over 4000 calories.

There has been so much for Kristy and I to do to prepare for our wedding next month.  Life is a little crazy.  I’m spending a couple of days at her house this weekend (before the Michigan trip).

Kristy is spending another week out of town later this month.  I’m attending a conference in San Antonio at the same time, but Kristy will be on the east coast.

I’ve been up to late almost every night this week just getting stuff done.  Today it was housework and packing for spending the weekend with Kristy.  It’s been really hard to focus on my weight loss while this busy and somewhat stressed out.

I took two vacation days from work, and had a four-day weekend and went to Parkersburg, West Virginia with Kristy and Dawn.  It had been 32 years since I was last in West Virginia, so I had little memory of it.

Parkersburg is an interesting town.  It has it’s issues, but I found one charming aspect.  People ride bikes there.  There are kids on BMX bikes all over town.  Adults were riding mountain bikes (most with disc brakes).  Nobody wore a helmet.  It was like the 80s all over again. 

Kristy didn’t have a bike, so we brought both of mine with, plus Dawn’s.  We hauled three bikes there, and four back.  Kristy doesn’t like riding either of my bikes, so we bought one for her.  Her new bike is a Cannondale Adventure 5.  I also test rode a Surly LHT, and it even fit.  I don’t have the budget for that bike.  It’s been on my wish list for some time, and the reservations I’ve had about getting one are now settled.  I want it.  I just can’t have it now.

I didn’t get to ride nearly enough while I was there.  I did ride between the hotel room and her family’s house (about 2.5 miles) several times.  The three of us also went on a short ride around town.

I had to go back to work on Monday, and wasn’t able to ride because I didn’t get much sleep, and had to pick up my dogs from the vet where they were boarded.  I felt a strong need to ride.  My mental health was requiring it.

So, on Tuesday, I rode to work.  There was a chance of rain, but it only rained while I was at work.  The ride home was lovely also.

Today, Wednesday, was the opposite.  I got drenched in the morning, and in the afternoon, but it didn’t rain while I was at work.

I enjoyed riding in the rain.  Only the first few minutes of getting wet is uncomfortable.  Once you get totally wet, it doesn’t really matter anymore.  I’m riding again tomorrow, no matter what the weather.  I probably won’t ride on Friday, as Kristy will be here.

Back to my weight… I’m sure I’ve gained.  I don’t know how much.  I’m actually pretty happy with the way I feel this week.  I feel like I’ve developed the right mindset to ride much more often.  If I can keep riding, I will lose the weight.  Yes, I should get back on the scale.  Yes, I should eat better.  Yes I need to lay off the beer.

Maybe tomorrow. 

I’m going to ride my bike to work tomorrow, and leave my laptop at home.  Yes, I use a computer all day at work, but without my personal laptop, I won’t be checking my email and reading bike-related stuff during breaks.

I’m not giving up on this blog or on weight loss, just taking a break from the “connected” lifestyle.

I want my goal weight to remain at 175 lbs, but that doesn’t seem achievable right now.

I’ve been sick for a couple of days including taking one day off of work.  I’m feeling better today, but I’m taking yet another day off of the bike just to be sure I’m over whatever this has been.

She tagged along for Sunday’s RCCS ride driving my truck as a “support vehicle”.  Mainly, she carried snacks and took pictures.  Tim’s write-up is here.

I didn’t post a weekly weight update, but basically I gained 0.1 lbs.  I haven’t weighed regularly and I’ve been eating more.  My next weekly weight will probably be up more.

I haven’t ridden a bike since Sunday, but I will be riding tomorrow.  I felt angry and depressed today, but I think it was the lack of bike riding, or exercise in general.  I felt much better today after my weight-lifting session.

I’m considering riding a century (100 miles) this Saturday.  I need the stress relief.  If I do it, it’ll be my longest ride yet.

If anyone else out there is interested in riding 100 miles starting early Saturday, and riding at a slow-ish pace, let me know.  I could organize a last minute RCCS ride.

I have tomorrow off, and I’m picking Kristy up at the airport.  She’s been away for three months, and it’ll be great to see her again… and that is a major understatement.

We’ll be spending the weekend together, even on Sunday when I’m going on the RCCS ride.  She’s not riding, but she’ll be driving as a “support” vehicle.

I didn’t have the willpower to get out of bed early enough to ride to work, so I had to drive.  When I left work, I found out that they had increased the parking fee from $7.00 to $8.75.  Although that does give me more incentive to ride, it didn’t help my mood much.

My daughter and I went grocery shopping this evening.  I usually ride my bike, but I wanted to go to a different grocery store, so we drove.  It wasn’t all bad, we stopped for ice cream along the way.  I’ve eaten light all day today, other than the ice cream, so my total calorie consumption is only 1305.

I really need to figure out how to shake off this bad mood.  I feel that it affects my health, my job, and my relationships.

I did do housework, cooking, and bike maintenance, so it wasn’t a total waste.

Despite a case of the “blahs” that made me want to consume large quantities of food, I actually ate pretty well.  I did have to keep reminding myself that I want to lose weight though.

Kristy will be back in town on Friday.  I’m taking that day off, so I have a four-day work-week.  I’m going to ride to work every day and try to keep my progress going.

My eating hasn’t been great, but it hasn’t been horrible either.  I rode to work on Monday, but not since.  It’s easy to say I’m going to “buckle down” and eat better and ride more, but it’s not so easy to do it.

I’ve been very busy recently, which stresses me out.  My shoulder pain has taken a turn for the worse.  These things aren’t helping any.

I need to clean my house.  The dog hair has a life of it’s own, and is threatening to take over.  I need to get back on the bike.  I did ride 100 miles for the week, but 120 would have been better.

I did cook dinner today, but other than that I’ve watched some TV shows on iTunes, played with the computer, and talked to Kristy on the phone.

Back when I suffered from more serious depression I often felt like this, but I also felt trapped, or hopeless, or something.  I don’t feel those things.  I just have a complete lack of motivation.

My mental state is greatly improved from being back on the bike.  Starting off the workday with a bike ride is a huge boost to my mood and attitude at work.

I was highly motivated to get home quickly after work, so I could drive to go visit Kristy, my girlfriend.  I have to drive to see Kristy, as she lives about 90 miles from my house.  I may eventually ride there, but I’ll need a few days off work to do that.

I did drive to work today, but I’ll be back on the bike tomorrow.

My weight is  still up, but I’m back to eating healthy, and plan to put some serious miles on the bikes, so I should be back to losing weight very soon.

I’ve been lazy, but made up my mind this weekend to overcome it.  Today was a great start.  It felt good to arrive at work completely awake.

I’ve spent too much time thinking of my 33-mile round trip as long.  Thinking of it that way makes it hard to do everyday.  I need to remember that I’ve been on several trips longer than that, and that weren’t split in half by a work day.  If I can convice myself that the 16.5 mile one-way is “short” then I’ll do it more often.  If I can get where I can do it in an hour or less, that’ll make it easier.

• Goal weight will remain at 175 lbs (for now).  I hope to reach that goal by the end of August.
• Ride a century this year (100 miles in one day).
• Raise $3200 for The Ride to Conquer Cancer, and complete the entire ride under my own power.
• Learn to ride my new unicycle, and complete a ten-mile ride on it by June 2010.
• Juggling?
• Ride to work more often.  I had hoped to average 3 days per week, but I’m not even managing that right now.
• Ride to work five days a week at least 3 weeks per year.
• Increase my average speed on the bicycle a little bit.
• Learn to kayak this year.
• Get a rod, reel, and fishing license, and spend some time relaxing and fishing.
• Find new fitness activities.
• I had made a goal to live-car free.  I think I’m giving that up.  I do want to drive less, but realities of the modern world make this a very unpopular choice.
• Ride 5000 miles this year.  I’m way behind on this so far.  I’m two months into the year, and I’ve only ridden 541 miles.
• Get better about riding in cold rain.  I often use this as an excuse not to ride to work, but I have the gear to do so.
• I had planned to try to drive less than 3500 miles per year.  I’m giving up on this also.
• Ride in a roller coaster this year.  I’ll actually fit now.
• Go skydiving in the summer of 2010.
• I want to be a better cook.
• I want to find a wonderful woman to enjoy these activities with.

What I’ve achieved

• I’m no longer obese.  My weight is hovering just above 200 lbs.
• My blood pressure and resting pulse rate are low.
• I am physically stronger than I’ve been in years.
• My pants size dropped from a 44 to a 36.
• I feel better about who I am, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• Others have been inspired others to improve their lives.
• I am more confident in all aspects of my life.
• I am usually much more upbeat, happy, and optimistic than I used to be.

What I’ve learned I still need to work on

• Occasionally, depression still gets the better of me.
• I’m still lazy by nature, and have to fight this every day.
• The “I want it now” mentality is still hiding back there, and surfaces occasionally.
• I am still somewhat self-centered.  I don’t think having a blog helps in that matter.
• The depression and “I want it now” mentality sometimes team up to hurt my financial state.  I need to get better about that.

If you think I’m going off-topic… I’m not.  What started as a weight-loss effort has turned into a complete transformation of who I am.

This morning, I can hear the wind howling outside.  Not ideal weather for a ride.  I also woke up late.  Apparently I had a brief power outage overnight, and my alarm clock didn’t go off.  The alarm on my cell phone did go off, but it took it almost 2 hours to wake me up.

I’m happy and in a good mood despite these setbacks, mostly because new possibilities seem to have opened up.

Anyway, I feel better now.  I haven’t ridden my bike since Monday, but I will tomorrow.  The weather forecast is calling for a chance of rain, so maybe I’ll get wet.  Big deal.

I’m just a couple hours away from seeing The Pink Floyd Experience.  I almost skipped going, even though I already bought the ticket, but my improved mood has helped.  The last thing I need to do is hide at home all the time.

I ate Girl Scout Cookies for breakfast.  At least those things are gone now.  I now know not to ever buy them again.  I apologize to the Girl Scouts, but my problems with food are not solved.

Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer,  but with a good chance of rain.  I may ride anyway.  I may even ride Nermal the entire distance.  I will fix the flat tire tonight.

I did do some dumbbell workout routines last night, and this morning, so my chest and arms feel a little weird.  They’re not really painful, just weird.

In reality, my legs hurt and I feel “blah” from my sugar consumption yesterday.  I know the best thing to do would be to ride anyway, but my ability to do so seems so far away.

I had a soft drink with my fast food.  I drink the stuff so rarely these days… and now I want another, in a deranged kinda way.  I actually considered getting dressed and riding down to the gas station to buy some more.

That said, I’m going to go to bed and curl up in the fetal position.

Enjoy the now, they are around for a limited time only.

I have my new clothes that actually fit now.  I took a picture of myself, and if you look closely, you’ll notice that I still need a smaller belt. 

I’ve gone through another transformation recently.  My previous transformation was just the realization that I wasn’t going to be fat forever.  That I would reach my goal weight.

This new transformation is me realizing that I’m not a “fat guy” anymore.  I don’t feel fat anymore.  I still have a few pounds to lose, but I’m nearly at my goal.

Last night, I cleaned Nermal’s drivetrain.  I took it as far as removing the chain, and soaking it in a degreaser.  I didn’t have a spare pin for the chain, so I just re-used the old one.  It seems to make a stiff link, so I’ll probably have to replace the chain soon.  Oh well, live and learn.

I was still pretty sore from the weekend this morning, and I don’t fully trust the chain on Nermal now, so I drove to Jeffersonville, and rode the rest of the way to work.

On the ride back to my car, I broke a spoke on my rear wheel.  The chain is still working fine though.

It’s been a long time since I broke a spoke.  That bike has had problems with that in the past, but I replaced the rear wheel, and that solved it, until now.

I’m pretty tight financially right now, so I can’t fix the bike.  To ride the other bike to work means riding the entire distance, and there is snow in the forecast, so I might be done riding for the week.

All of this just made me angry.  Then I get home, start browsing, and find this:
http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20090131/NEWS01/901310438

I had heard about this a few days ago, and forgot about it.  I read this today, then read the reader comments.  Now I am angry that I am part of the human race.  Luckily, most of these people that talk shit would never do anything stupid, but there are just enough that will to piss me off.

Feeling this way makes me want to overeat.  I think I’ll sleep instead.

The disruption to my routine has really thrown off my daily weight-loss related activities.  I haven’t weighed since Tuesday.  I haven’t tracked my calories since Wednesday.  Riding a bike is almost out of the question.

Now that I’m home from work, and my power is on, I just ate some stuff I had.  I’ll prepare a grocery list and ride my bike to the store tomorrow. Tonight, I clean the house.

My bike mileage for the week will be pitiful.  I imagine that my weight is up a bit.

I have a huge mess in my yard to clean up.  I hope to borrow a chainsaw this weekend, so maybe I’ll get some kind of a workout. 

That’s changing tomorrow.  The two of  them are packing and moving 300 miles away.  I’ll still visit when I can, and my daughter will probably spend quite a bit of the summer here, but my family, as I’ve known it, is changing.

My daughter is 17.  She’s at the age where she wants freedom from her parents, but has no idea what that really entails.  I have a feeling that her and I will grow more distant for a few years, until she has a family of her own.

When I began living alone, I was extremely lonely.  I have since adjusted, and having the two of them nearby to visit was a big help.  It was an even bigger help that they would go home and leave me alone.    I won’t have them nearby anymore.

I have no family in the area now.  I have only a few friends.  I have no real ties to any particular city.  I like Louisville, and I like my current job, so I have no plans to move.  If I did move, it would be somewhere else without family, because I’d like to move somewhere west of here, and most of my family is in Michigan.

On the plus side, I won’t be going out to eat with them anymore, so it should be easier to control my eating.  I also feel I’ll be able to move forward with my life.  I don’t know exactly what I want out of life.  I have a variety of ideas, but some of them are in conflict with each other.

Whatever path I choose, it will involve getting fit, staying fit, riding a bike, and doing my best to improve myself as a human being.

I originally intended to ride to work everyday this week, but between cold rain and my lazy butt, I skipped two days.  I still rode three days.  That’s about 100 miles on the bike.  That’s 100 miles I didn’t drive.  That’s $21.00 I didn’t pay in parking.  That’s a whole bunch of calories burned.

I had a busy week at work, but that does make the time go by faster.  I also feel that I accomplished a fair amount of work, and have been learning the ropes at the new job.  My eating habits have been good this week, and my weight loss marches on.

I talked to my daughter today, and it looks like we may go see Wicked tomorrow.  I’ve been hoping to spend more time with her, and this sounds like fun.

The Friday evening commute home is usually the scariest and worst with rude drivers.  Today’s commute home was one of my best.  I only had one slightly rude driver, and several polite ones.  I even had someone in an SUV follow a safe distance behind me the entire length of the 2nd Street Bridge.  It was probably someone who knows me, or another cyclist.  I didn’t see the person, and didn’t recognize the vehicle.

I made good time getting home today.  The slight tailwind helped, but my overall good mood for the day helped me pedal faster.

When presented with a clear, but not as sudden danger, such as getting stranded in the desert with no water, a reasonable person will start thinking of ways to get out of the predicament safely.

Why is it we, as a species, are almost completely blind to long-term health problems and how they will affect our longevity, and standard of life?

Denial?
I was certainly in denial about my obesity for quite some time, but even when I came to grips with the fact that I was “The Fat Guy”, it still took a few years for me to take action.

Not Taking Responsibility?
It’s easy to blame your health problems on circumstances out of your control.  Genetics, bad luck, too stressed out, and other excuses cause us to not bother making a change, because “it’s not our fault”.

Laziness?
Another “fat guy” I talked to has an elliptical and other exercise equipment at home.  It’s not for him, it’s for his wife.  It’s bought and paid for, he might as well use it. It’s easy to be lazy.  I’m an expert at it.  Making lifestyle changes is hard work, but it’s completely worth the effort.

After years of being obese, I chose to change it.  If you need to lose weight, quit smoking, eat healthier, or develop some muscle tone, please do.  It will not only prolong your life, but make more of your life happier.

Once I get some sleep, I’m going on  a Christmas ride around town.  Nothing too long, just a ride on my recumbent decorated with Christmas lights.  If I had a Santa hat I’d put it on my helmet, but I don’t.

My diet for the last few days has been pretty good.  I think my Christmas dinner will be small this year, so I’m not worried about diet.

I am worried about not riding my bike enough.  I’ve been suffering from the normal holiday blues, and it is affecting my ability to get motivated.

I didn’t intend to make this such a negative post.  I will enjoy the day, I hope you do too.

Merry Christmas!

Once I’m through this winter, I will revisit my decision to not buy studded tires for the bike.  Next winter I may be ready. 

I haven’t had a week without riding since I started tracking my mileage in June.  My average weekly mileage in November and December was 54.  My average weekly mileage for August through October was 91.

I haven’t done any exercise this week.  I feel lazy.  I’ve been considering starting back on my push-up plan, but can’t seem to motivate myself.  I bought a pilates video months ago, and haven’t used it.

However, my weight is doing just fine.  I’m still eating well, and haven’t had beer in weeks.  I’ve been out to eat a few times, and was pretty proud that I didn’t over-indulge.  I will probably be solidly under 220 lbs before the year is over.

I drove to work today because we are under a winter storm warning.  I’ve been thinking about my bikes all day.  I know how often I have to ride to work to make my mileage goal for next year.

I can list off anything I’ve eaten in recent history, again because of my spreadsheet.

I’ve probably changed my perception of myself from “fat guy” to “weirdo on a bike who is OCD about tracking things in a spreadsheet”.  How far is too far?  More importantly, what comes next?

I will reach my goal weight sometime in 2009.  I know I have to maintain, but it won’t require as much work.  I will continue to ride a bike as much as possible (I want 5000 miles for next year).

What will be my next big goal?  I need to find something to achieve, or I will feel lost.  Maintaining the goal weight isn’t enough.  It’s got to be something different.

I have some other goals in mind.

• Learn to ride a unicycle (next year)
• Be car-free (three years away)
• Either fix-up my house, or move (three years away)
• Meet a woman crazy enough to like my lifestyle (never?)
• Ride a several hundred mile multi-day tour (next year?)

Those are neat ideas, but it doesn’t solve what to focus on.

Mostly, I feel a little lost.  I think people that know me are tired of hearing about my weight loss or bike rides (blog readers don’t count… they just leave when they tire of it).  I really don’t have other things to talk about now.  My life has been consumed with these matters recently.

This blog has been a great tool for me to gain some perspective on what I have accomplished.  Going back and reading what I wrote last year makes me realize how far I’ve come.

It’s nice to put it all in perspective.  I’m still having a bad day today, but I know it has been better before, and will be better again.

I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight, and start fresh tomorrow.

My focus in this blog has changed over the course of a year.  I started out posting what my goals were, and why I had those goals.  Later it was more of a public humiliation into losing weight.

As of today, I’m down 67 lbs, and have 54 more to go.  I still adjust my goals as necessary, but the why is pretty ingrained in my head.

Many of my recent posts have been out bicycling.  That has been one the major areas of focus for my life over the last few months.  I have picked up a few readers along the way because of that, and probably lost a couple.

I no longer find posting my weight, or progress pictures humiliating.  It’s just part of what I do, almost becoming part of who I am.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

Once I voted and went home, I rode my bike a short distance to buy beer.  Then I ordered pizza.  My ex-wife and daughter came over and brought ice cream.

We all sat around and watched the election results on TV.  I ate way too much, and drank too much.  I didn’t even track my calories.

Wednesday morning I was feeling dehydrated from drinking.  I didn’t feel up to riding all the way to work, so I threw my bike on my car, and only rode a short distance.  I ate reasonably well, but didn’t track calories.

Wednesday after work, I went shopping for clothes, including some more base layers for cold weather riding.  By the time I got home it was late, and I was up too late, and drank more beer.

This morning, I woke up two hours later than expected.  I made it to work on time (barely), but drove the entire distance.

My daily weigh-in has been above 230 for two days in a row.  I need to focus more.

• I’ve lost 67.4 lbs
• I’ve been on a 60-mile bike ride
• I can ride my bike to work (and do on an irregular basis)
• I can tie my shoes without hurting myself
• I like what I see in the mirror
• I have a lot better muscle tone (mostly in the legs)
• I’ve realized that “fat guy” is not a permanent state
• I’ve spent way too much money on bike stuff
• I now know that my goal weight is achievable (54 more lbs to go)
• I’m not afraid of riding a bike in bad weather
• People who haven’t seen me in a while are surprised at my appearance
• My eating habits are much better now
• I don’t drink soda
• I drink much more water, and much less beer

I did all of this without any fancy diets, just sensible eating.  No drugs, surgery, or other short-cuts.

On October 31, 2009, I intend to write another post like this announcing that I’ve reached my goal weight of 175 lbs.

Realizing that my body weight does not define me, allows me to feel more comfortable with what I do, and turn the tables, and having me define my weight.  It’ll take time to get to 175 lbs, but I will do it.

I will keep the name “The Fat Guy” for the blog, as a reminder of how I defined myself for so long.

I’ve had one beer almost every day for the last week and a half.  I’m not going to give up beer, but I still need to cut down more.

I’ve went out to lunch too often recently.  I always overeat when I go out.

I’m not entirely sure why my habits have slipped.  I have been weighing daily.  I’ve been tracking my calories.  I guess I need to “think before I eat”.

My weigh-in yesterday was up a little, to 232.6 lbs.  I had hoped to stay under 230 permanently.

I’m considering an 11-mile night ride tonight.  It’s a low-traffic area that will be a lot of fun.  I’ve got some housework I’ve got to get done first… Oh, yeah, I’m at work, so I’ve got to finish up here too.

It’s easy to get lazy when life is throwing curves.

Overall I’m pleased with my progress.  I’m averaging 5.55 lbs of weight loss every 30 days.

I’d like to get an updated progress picture up, but I need to find someone to help take the picture, and that’s a gruesome task. 

My hybrid bike is now known as Nermal.  I haven’t named the recumbent yet.  The idea for Nermal came to me on Monday when I was riding it to lunch.  I don’t know why, but it does seem to fit.

I also created a “My Bikes” page.

I’ve been riding Nermal all week.  Since buying the recumbent, Nermal has mostly sat, going for the occasional ride when my daughter was around.  She doesn’t like riding with me when I’m my recumbent, because it’s too goofy looking.  It was time to get Nermal out and about again.

Good night, y’all 

Here are my options for tomorrow:

• Drive – be lazy
• Ride in again – hard work!
• Drive part of the way, then ride

I haven’t decided which to do.  Driving all the way does require me to pay for parking, and that’s not fun.

I really admire those who live car-free.  I may yet do that someday, but not until I live in the city.

I also didn’t ride my bike today.  The recumbent was in the shop getting adjusted.  I could have ridden my other bike, but I was lazy, and lousy weather is an easy excuse.  I am planning on riding tomorrow.

My weight on Sunday was 230.8 lbs.  I was dehydrated from my 45-mile ride, so I knew it would go up again.  On Monday I weighed-in at 232.2 lbs.  It did go up, but not as much as I thought it would.

I’ve spent too much time in the high 230s.  It feels good to be in the low 230s.  Now I need to push harder to get into the 220s.

I did a partial commute on my bike yesterday.  I rode all the way into work today.  I left at 6:30 a.m. instead of 7:00.  It was very dark, but my new lights lit the way well.  Traffic was light for the first 20 minutes of the ride.  It was quite peaceful.

I’ve been doing better with my eating habits and exercise.  Losing weight will spur me on to continue.

I’m going to have to put a little more effort into my eating habits.  I can eat fine for three days, then consume 3000 calories in one sitting, and that isn’t helping my weight loss.  I don’t want to deny myself the things I like, that’s not sustainable long-term.  I just need to control the amount of the things I eat.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve been skipping tracking my calories on an occasional basis, usually when I’ve eaten too much.

I’ve made excuses for not being on the bike enough.  If I lived closer to work, I’d have someone take my car keys for a few weeks, but I really don’t think I’m ready for a car-free existence, not even on a temporary basis.

I will be taking another ride this weekend.  I’m shooting for 70-75 miles.  I’ll leave early enough that I can get home before dark.  I have a route in mind:
http://tinyurl.com/4hhz5s

The route is about 75 miles, and it’s a little flatter than the last ride I took.  It does have a few hilly areas, so I’ll get to work the legs some, but hopefully without turning into a pile of rubber.

Don’t let anyone lie to you.  There are no magic pills or diets.  Weight loss is hard!

The last few days have been bad.  I need to adjust my attitude so I can accomplish something.  I’ll leave that for Tuesday though.

My weight last night was 235.2 lbs.  That’s the lowest weight yet.  I’m halfway to my goal weight.  I’m not going to celebrate yet though.  I want to have a weekly average that puts me halfway to my goal before I bring out the fattening celebratory sweets.

In addition to riding my bike to work 3 to 4 days a week, I plan on a longer weekend ride at least once a month.  Last Sunday’s ride was very enjoyable.  Now that I know how far I can go, I can work on building that distance up.

My commute into work today was a little nippy.  I need to buy some gloves.  There was more road debris to watch out for due to Sunday’s storm, but not a lot more.  Most of the tree branches have been pushed off of the road.

I’ve been overeating for almost a week.  I haven’t been on a bike ride in a week.  I haven’t rode to work in over a week.  I’ve got to get out of this rut.

I worked all day today, then went to an Italian restaurant for dinner.  Now I’m back at the hotel, and getting ready to get some sleep.

There is a fitness center here at the hotel, but I packed light, and don’t have clothing to wear while exercising.  I thought about renting a bike, but exhaustion and time are problems.

I gave up tracking my calories for these few days, and don’t have a scale with me.  Oh well, I’ll be home late Friday, and I’ll get back into my routine.

I made up for it today.  I rode into to work this morning, and made good time.  I felt incredibly fast (although my bike computer said I averaged less than 17 MPH).  Some of it was good luck.  I didn’t hit many red lights.  Traffic was light.  The weather was wonderful.

I still have to ride home later.  It may rain.  The temperature will probably be in the 90s.

I hope to ride everyday the rest of the week.

I rode to work and back on my recumbent with the clipless pedals today.  The ride in was great, the ride home was windy and slow.

After getting home, I rode my hybrid bike to the grocery store.  There was another guy there with a similar bike buying groceries, but he didn’t have a rear-rack or bags, so he was tying the plastic grocery bags to his handlebars.

My weight tonight was 239.2!  Under 240!  It was just July 27th when I dropped below 250.  I don’t know if I’ll gain a little, and have to wait a little longer to stay under 240 or not.

175 — here I come!

Anyway, I’m only riding my bike to work three days this week.  I rode yesterday, today was a “lazy day”, I have other plans tomorrow and I need my car, and I plan on riding Thursday and Friday.

My weight has been hanging right at 243.6 lbs for three days.  There is no fluctuation at all.

I’ve been better with my eating, but I have had a six-pack of beer over the last four days.

Sometimes when there doesn’t seem to be much going on, I feel like I’m not making progress.  Then I pull up my spreadsheet, and I can see that I’m down 52.8 lbs.  I can also see that I’m down 16.6 lbs since June 30th when I started tracking my calories again.  So, really, I just need to keep doing what I’m doing for another 68.6 lbs.

Today I consumed about 1720 calories:

Breakfast:

• Kashi GoLean Crunch w/ skim milk
• Banana
• Vanilla Yogurt

This is actually a bit heavier than my normal breakfast.  I do find the fiber in the cereal to be good for keeping me full.  It also has quite a few carbs for energy.  Bananas provide potassium, and the yogurt gives extra calcium… and I really like it.

Lunch:

• Sliced chicken lunchmeat sandwich on rye bread w/ swiss cheese
• A bunch of grapes

Yes, I have some lunch-making supplies at work.  I usually have a sandwich and fruit.  Sometimes it’s grapes, sometimes it’s bananas.  The sliced chicken, cheap lunchmeat crap is too high in sodium, but I like it.

Snack:

• Twix Ice Cream Bar
• Gatorade

I picked up this snack at a convenience store on the way home.  I was riding my bike, and I felt I needed a little more energy.  I also drank some water from my water bottle.

Dinner:

• Small pork chop, grilled outside
• Brussell sprouts

I need protein.  I love brussell sprouts.  It was a quick easy meal.  I need quick easy dinners, as I don’t have a lot of time after getting home before I go to bed.

I also drink black coffee from the time I get to work until around 2 p.m.  I drink water all day long.  I occasionally drink beer, but didn’t today.

Supplements and drugs:

• Fish oil pills
• Multivitamin
• Metamucil fiber supplement
• Aspirin (or acetaminophen if pain is bad)

The fish oil and vitamins started before the weight loss to help deal with depression.  It seems to work for me, and has other health benefits.  I used to take the fiber regularly, but I don’t do it as often now due to gas.  I take aspirin most days for its health benefits, or, if I’m in pretty bad pain, I’ll take acetaminophen.

That is a list of everything that I consumed today.  Today was typical for a weekday.  My calorie intake does vary.  Sometimes I go out to lunch.  Sometimes I eat a very light dinner.  On weekends my eating is all over the board.

On the other hand, I have been tracking my calories, and controlling my eating.  I had been eating too much, especially carbohydrates, and I had not lost weight.

On June 30 my weight was down over 4 lbs to 260.2.  I assumed this was just a fluctuation, but it has continued.  My weight today is 256.2.  This is the lowest weight I’ve been at since starting this.  My last “big” weight loss was April 30, and I’m 3.2 lbs less than that.

I feel good that this is partly due to just the calorie tracking (averaged 1826 calories per day since June 30), and partially a fluctuation.  The bike had little to do with it, because I’ve barely ridden it since Monday.  I will be back on it this weekend, and commuting next week.

I’ve seen almost no weight loss in two months, just fluctuation.  This is discouraging considering the effort I’ve put into biking.

As of today, I’m tracking everything I eat, and the estimated calories, just like I did when I started this adventure.  I done eating for the day, and I’ve consumed an estimated 1685 calories.  That’s pretty good for someone who rode about 34 miles on a bike today.

Putting the food I eat in a list, even without calories counts, makes me aware of what I’m doing wrong.

So, I’m aiming for under 2000 calories per day, and biking to work and back (32 miles round trip) 3 or 4 times a week.  As always, I’ll adjust any of this as I need to.  I’d love to see my average monthly weight drop by 5 or six pounds for several months in a row.

When I got home, my dogs were very excited to see me.  After I took them out, I got out of my sweaty clothes, and laid down in front of the fan for a few minutes to cool off.  I’m cooled off now, but I really need a shower.

I’m hoping to ride to Deam Lake this weekend.  It’ll feel good to go swimming after biking there.  I found a route on back roads that is about 15 miles.

My main problem is finding something of interest to write about.  A lot of little things in our lives are unimportant to anyone else.  Bloggers who are good writers can turn an otherwise boring story into something engaging.  I cannot.  I’m not much of a writer.

7:30 A.M.
I want to lose weight, so I guess I’ll load the bike on the car.

8:30 A.M.
Please don’t run me over. Please don’t run me over. Please don’t run me over.

11:00 A.M.
I need to have a better attitude about work before I really piss someone off.

5:45 P.M.
Downtown rush-hour traffic is awesome on a bike.

6:00 P.M.
Please don’t run me over. Please don’t run me over. Please don’t run me over.

7:30 P.M.
I enjoy doing dishes while listening to Puscifer. Yes, I think with hyperlinks, I am a web developer after all.

8:30 P.M.
I’m dreading weighing after eating too much, and drinking beer.

I went to the bike shop, and bought a helmet.  I’m old enough to know I’m not indestructible.  The guy at the shop was helpful, and understood that I had never worn a bike helmet before.

I also bought a stereo receiver and speakers for my living room.  I guess I’m an old fart.  I just want good stereo speakers.  I don’t want a surround sound thing.  I got a decent receiver, and settled (temporarily) on some bookshelf speakers.  I’ll probably replace them later with some big Cerwin-Vega speakers.

I got home, tested out the new electronics, then took my bike to the state park for a (mostly) traffic-free ride.  The helmet didn’t bother me, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get into the ride.  I only rode about 30 minutes before packing up and heading home.

Now I’m at home bored and somewhat depressed.  I really don’t know why.

I may go out for another ride today.  I will go out tomorrow.  I will also do my partial commute at least three times next week.

However, yesterday, I was determined to continue on.  I ate well, and watched one episode of Stargate Atlantis while on the elliptical, so I got about a 42 minute workout.  The 42 minute workout may not be as long as some of the other ones I’ve done recently, but it was more intense.  I pushed a little harder speed-wise, and I turned the difficulty up a bit.

I also spent a fair amount of time doing housework yesterday.  I’m not sure how much of a workout that really is, but it’s more than sitting in front of the computer.  It’s also time well-spent.  I hate it when my house is a wreck.

Today, after work, I will get on the elliptical again.

Looking at some of the history of the successful ones, I’ve noticed that most had bad times near the beginning.

I was looking at Jennette Fulda’s blog (She lost half her body weight).  She started documenting in November 2003, but didn’t seem to make much progress until July 2004.  Her posting frequency was pretty sporadic until that time also.

It seems that I’ve had the same pattern.  Some early progress, then the progress fades away, then I quit posting (or weighing) very often.

I’m hoping that today is my July 2004.  I weighed in at 265.4 tonight, I’m down 31 lbs.  I spent 86 minutes on the elliptical watching Stargate Atlantis (I love iTunes).

I’ve said before that my weight loss began when I stopped being so depressed, and saw the changes that were needed.  I’m not so sure of that now.  I’ve been through another bout of depression, and I’m trying to use the focus on weight loss as a coping mechanism.  If it works, and I get to lose weight too, that’ll be more reason to feel better.

I took her into the vet yesterday to get her spayed.  I picked her up this morning (she’s doing well).  I was looking over the line-item charges on the bill and noticed the $20 “obesity fee”.  I guess the fat made the surgery a little more difficult.

Just imagine if your doctor tried to add an obesity fee to your bill.

I weighed 268.8 today.  I weighed 268.2 on 12/30.  I weigh more today than I did ten weeks ago.  That’s really frustrating.  I was rather pleased with my March 4th weight of 265.4, but it was just a temporary dip.

Dave commented in an earlier post that he doesn’t like to keep weight goals.  For me, it’s the only objective measure I have.  Subjectively, I feel better than I did at the beginning of this, back in early November.  Objectively, I’ve made progress, but very little since the end of the year.

I’m going to have to work a little harder.

Last night’s weigh-in was 265.4 lbs.  I’ve lost 31 lbs.  This is the lowest weight I’ve been in a long time.  I feel good, and feel motivated again.

I plan on buying a good bicycle in the next couple of months.

In other good news, I’ve been hired back at a former employer, so my job situation is a little more secure.  However, my income will take a bit of a hit over the contract work I had been doing.

There has been something going on in my life that I haven’t been willing to write about.  Those that know me know about it, but I’ve kept quiet about it here.  I’m going to talk about it now, and how it’s affected my weight loss.

Toward the end of December, my wife and I decided to get divorced.  In mid-January she moved out of the bedroom.  In mid-February, she signed a lease on an apartment and I helped her move in.

The split has been amicable.  Our daughter has chosen to live with her.  They’re staying in the same town, so they are close by.

All three cats, and one of the dogs are going with her.  I’ve still got my two dogs.

We haven’t filed for divorce yet, but will soon.  I purchased new appliances for her apartment.  She took most of the livingroom furniture.  I just replaced it this weekend.

The friction, depression, and loneliness has derailed my weight loss effort.  I have barely been working out recently.  I’ve had more “bad” diet days than I should.

With that said, the purchase of a TV and livingroom furniture makes me feel like I am still living in a house, instead of a shell.  I’m getting used to living alone, and I think I may prefer it.  I’ve moved the elliptical so that I can watch TV while using it, and I expect to get back into gear with it tomorrow.

Please don’t give divorce advice.  I’m already getting a ton of that from family and friends.  My divorce is probably much different than yours.  I do welcome advice on getting out of my rut, and losing more weight.

Wish me luck!

I worked out on the elliptical today, and did a little weight lifting.  I noticed that I hadn’t done any working out for almost two weeks.  That’s just depressing.

I need to hit the workouts a bit harder.  On the positive side, most of my arm/neck/back/shoulder pain is gone, so I can do a little lifting.

My first thought was to go buy a couple of pairs in a size 40, but I decided I’d rather wait a while longer, and buy 38s, purely for my own psychological reasons

I am still losing weight, although slower.  I haven’t been as diligent in tracking my weight, but I still do it now and again.  I look a bit thinner in the face.  My gut is a little smaller, and a lot softer.  My leg muscles are much more toned from using the elliptical.

I don’t suffer from depression as much.  I rarely binge-eat.  My alcohol consumption is way down.  I drink a lot of water.  I still drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day.

My diet change is now habit, and I don’t have to think about it much.  My digestive system work better now (I’m not going into detail about this).  I didn’t realize how badly I was abusing my body until I changed my habits.

I haven’t weighed in a few days, but I will soon, and I’ll update it here, but I assume I weight about 270.  That means I’ve dropped about 26 pounds in approximately 3 months.  I still have at least 70 pounds left to lose, but these three months have made a dramatic difference in my life.

Here are my goals:

• Summer 2008: be able to ride a bike for 15-20 miles.
• Early 2009: achieve my goal weight of 200 lbs.
• Summer 2009: be able to run 10-20 miles.

Why I have these goals:

• I don’t want to suffer a heart attack in my 40s or 50s.
• I hate not being able to fit properly in a roller coaster (I love roller coasters).
• Being obese leads to lack of self-esteem and depression.
• A 300 lb man looks funny in a Kia Rio.
• To set an example for my wife and daughters.
• My weight causes pain in my back, neck, and shoulders, especially after sleeping.
• To fix a few problems with my digestive system, that I won’t discuss here.

What have I achieved so far:

• My current weight is down 25.8 lbs to 270.6
• I am able to do two 45-minute sessions on the elliptical in a day, instead little ten-minute sessions.
• I have changed my eating habits, so that eating healthier comes naturally to me.
• When I eat a dessert (such as ice cream) I have a very small serving.
• My beer consumption is down to about 5% of what it used to be.  I rarely drink now, and don’t drink as much.
• I can walk up eight flights of stairs in the parking garage without feeling ill.

Considering I started all of this at about 300 lbs, and I would get winded by a short walk, I’m quite happy with the progress that I’ve made.  I still have a way to go, and like everyone else, still have the other day-to-day issues to deal with, but I’m confident that I will achieve the three goals.  I’ve even considered making a 2010 goal to run a marathon, but I’ll wait until 2009 to make that decision.

I haven’t really been tracking my calories for the last week.  I’m not going to.  I’m still eating well, and losing weight.  I think I’ve got most of my dietary habits in control, so I’m going to focus more on the workouts.  I have removed the daily calorie intake page from this site.

In addition to this blog, I was using Traineo to help track weight, workouts, and diet.  However, that was yet another place to keep updated, and it had become a fair amount of work.  Also, their servers have become slow recently, so I decided to drop it.

I hadn’t weighed for a week, and I was worried that I had gained weight.  However, I was pleasantly surprised to be down to 267.6, the lowest weight since I started this.

I’m also going to focus on blogging everyday again.  I find it useful to help me focus on my goals.  I have more to talk about, but I’ll wait so I have something to write about tomorrow

Due to some issue I’ll blog about at a later date, my tracking of food and weight has fallen behind, and I’ve skipped workouts now and again, but overall, I’m still losing weight.

My weight last night was 268.2, so I have dipped below 270.  I’ll probably peak back above it before dipping down below, hopefully to stay.  I have not updated my weight on this blog, or on traineo.com, but I will.

Since the weight loss began I have felt better physically than I have in a long time.  However, the last few weeks have left me with painful muscle aches that are probably due to stress.

I will probably be in bed before midnight tonight.  I’m not going to any parties, or getting drunk.  I’m at home, having a few beers.  Last year I got rather drunk, and there are embarrassing pictures to prove it.

Happy New Year!

I have two excuses:

1. Holidays can do that.
2. I’m having some personal issues I don’t want to talk about.

Take your pick

On the bright side, my weight is down to 271.6.  I’m really looking forward to dropping below 270.

I use to often use eating to combat depression and stress.  I think I have overcome that.

I haven’t had a real workout in days.  I skipped two days of work.  I slept a lot.  The truth is, I was sick.  So on the bright side, I lost weight.

I didn’t track my eating while I was sick, and I didn’t bother tracking yesterday’s weight, but I’m feeling better today, and although I still didn’t work out, I did keep track of my food.  I also ate a bit more than normal.  That’s okay, I’m just making up for yesterday.

I’m down 23 pounds, only 93.4 more to go.

I had been eating well, until today.  I had three slices of pizza and two breadsticks that totaled more than 1300 calories.  It’s also too many carbs this late in the day.

I did workout on the elliptical for nearly 90 minutes today though.  My weight is still trending downward, so I’m happy.

On Sunday, I felt fat and bloated.  I ate much less food.  I drank a lot of water.  I didn’t have much energy.  I did make a token effort at a workout, but it was difficult.

Today, I am totally exhausted, and feeling a little down.  I hope to have a good workout when I get home, but what I really want is sleep.

I wonder how much effect our diet has on our mood and energy level.  I used to never consider the consequences before, unless large amounts of alcohol were involved.

There will be cake, ice cream, soda, and chips.  I’ll be hiding in my office (that also serves as a workout room & laundry room), working on a website for a client.  I will allow myself one scoop of ice cream, and that’s it for junk food.

Update:
I didn’t hide enough, and I ate 2478 calories.  Most of it was worthless carbs.  I will try harder.

I ordered more pizza, intending to eat half of a medium pizza.  I ate entire thing.  It was bacon and onion, and probably about 2100 calories.

I guess I’ll have homemade vegetable soup for dinner.

It does feel good to change those habits, and I saved money.

Going to the gas station is much the same way.  I now pay at the pump to avoid spending more money and eating more.

I found Jennette’s blog today. I am in awe of her weight loss. I believe she’s 9 or 10 years younger than I am, but I don’t have quite as much weight to lose. She has lost over 200 pounds. Oh, she’s a web developer also, but she actually has writing skills.

A guy at work (Thanks John!) has pointed me too traineo. I haven’t signed up, but several of us are talking about it to be each other’s “motivators”.

I’m still sick, and now I’m on antibiotics for a sinus infection. I hope it goes away soon, as it’s sapping my ability to sleep, and therefore my will to live

I started questioning that line of thought earlier this year because my depression took a much worse turn.  I knew I needed a change.  Seeking professional help was an option, but I wanted to find a better way.

For the last 15 years, my eating habits have been poor.  That is the main reason I hit 300 pounds.  Also, my diet did not include all nutrients that I needed.

A few months ago, I started taking a common multi-vitamin and fish-oil capsules.

Within a few weeks, it was as if a fog had lifted.  Not only was the depression not as bad, but It seems that I can think more clearly.

Deciding to lose weight was the natural next thing to do, once I was in the better state of mind.  It really wasn’t much of a conscious decision.  It just seemed to be what I should be doing.  I wish I had done something about the depression years ago.

There are a few other “fat guys” at the office, so at least I’m in good company.

I’m still not getting enough exercise, but my elliptical hasn’t arrived yet either.  I’m just lazy.